We went to Ikea yesterday. It’s a marvelous, marvelous wonderland.

I actually had trouble sleeping Friday night because I was so excited to go. We’ve attempted Ikea before with Mustang Sally in tow, so this time we dropped her off at my mother’s and headed off ALONE! I was positively giddy. When we got there I was so excited I actually skipped and jumped through the parking lot. It was like the mother ship was calling me home.

I really am that queer.

We purchased a variety of items with odd names that will undoubtedly make our lives better in that hip, ergonomic Ikea sort of way. I love how everything in the store has a name you cannot pronounce. Some of them sound vaguely dirty and I think they’re just obscene words in some made up language.

As soon as we got home, my husband and I tore into our purchases like two little kids on Christmas morning. He started putting stuff together right away. The Melodi pendant lamp in our kitchen looks totally fab with the red Stefan chairs he spent the evening assembling. I bought wine glasses as big as my head (hooray for wine!), and for the girl we found a down comforter (for $10!!!!) and the pervy sounding Fabler Prickar duvet set to go with it. But the new mattress for the sofa bed–the Sultan Fageras–takes the prize for the wackiest name. I can’t help but picture sultans lounging around on it while hot shirtless men fan them with palm leaves. Out of everything we bought, my favorite thing was a clear plastic colander for girlfriend to play with in the bath. It was $1.