I’m delivering on my promise that this week would be all about the boys.

So it’s Penis Week!!!!

Ta-da!

So yesterday’s post got me thinking a lot about gender and gender roles and gender differences and yes, penises, so naturally the song Everybody’s Fancy came into my head.

Here, for those of you who didn’t live in Mr. Roger’s neighborhood:

Some are fancy on the outside.
Some are fancy on the inside.
Everybody’s fancy.
Everybody’s fine.
Your body’s fancy and so is mine.

Boys are boys from the beginning.
Girls are girls right from the start.
Everybody’s fancy.
Everybody’s fine.
Your body’s fancy and so is mine.

Girls grow up to be the mommies.
Boys grow up be the daddies.
Everybody’s fancy.
Everybody’s fine.
Your body’s fancy and so is mine.

I think you’re a special person
And I like your ins and outsides.
Everbody’s fancy.
Everybody’s fine.
Your body’s fancy and so is mine.

And I’m feeling pretty special and fancy and fine about being a girl and I don’t have an ounce of penis envy, but how can I really say that since I only have experience with my own set up and I know nothing about what it’s like to fancy on the outside?

So I thought I’d give it a whirl and I tried this thing on.

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Just so you know this is NOT USED. It was a gift with purchase for some other pervy thing we bought. It’s revolting and scary and I almost threw it out, but then I thought I better keep it because it’s also funny.

The first thing I tried doing was the dishes, which I’ve done in costume before, but not like this.

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It got in the way a lot and I couldn’t really get close to the sink and hot water splashed on it which would have been painful if it had been a real peanut. I guess I understand why you guys don’t like to do dishes. It’s just plain dangerous.

I got it stuck in doors a couple of times.

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Does that ever happen to you? Ouch!

I committed a terrible party foul when I knocked my husband’s drink over.

Oops. My bad, yo.

Imagining what it’s like to pee was interesting as Mister kept telling me I was aiming it too high and that I was going to pee all over the back of the toilet and that my grip on the thing was totally wrong.

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So I gave up on peeing and tried folding some laundry instead. But that was a disaster.

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Where is the other towel?

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Oh! there it is!

And I always wondered why boys are always touching it.

Like, what’s the big deal? I have boobs, but I’m not always touching them.

But I get it now because I couldn’t keep my hands off the darn thing!

It demanded my constant attention and I was obsessed with it. As soon as I put it on, I had this mysterious urge to stick it in things.

To tell you the truth, I’m feeling rather pleased with my experiment and I think you boys will appreciate that a woman finally tried to understand what it’s like to be a man instead of bitching because you don’t know how tough we ladies have it.

I have to admit I’m really glad I’m fancy on the inside because I just don’t know how guys walk around with those things.