Isn’t mine an exceptionally large and beautiful pussy?

Don’t you just want to touch it?

I call it Benny.

AKA, The Benster, Sir Benevere, Big Guy, Big Boy, Big Buddy, Big Ben, Big Man, Big Kitty, Mr. Big, b-b-b-Benny and the Jets, Pussy Galore, Asshole, Benjamin J. Kitty, Kitty Boy, Wookie Boy, The Boss Man, Benito and Big Pussy.

Benny’s hobbies include eating copious amounts of Iams for Weight Control cat chow, sleeping, pooping, sleeping, talking smack to the neighbor’s cat through the window, sleeping, shedding alloverthefuckingplace, sleeping, chewing up my houseplants, eating anything that is ribbon or ribbon-like and costing us thousands in vet surgery bills to remove it from his enormous digestive system, and sleeping.

Impressive isn’t he?

And don’t worry.

It’s not Crissy’s Cat Week.