Ask Girlfriend 2.0

For those of us who aren’t yippie-skipping off to BlogHer, here’s an Ask Girlfriend for you.  It’s arguably better than Vaginapalooza.  If you really want, I’ll mail you a laundry soap sample and a cheap vibrator and you can tell everyone you were there and you didn’t even have to spend $150,000 or put pants on.

Dear girlfriend, I have [...] Continue Reading…

posted by Crissy in About nothing, really, Ask Girlfriend, Babymamadrama and have Comments (19)

Even when I’m sick, I’m still more productive than you.

Ugh!  What a weekend we had, Queefies!

Yes, I realize it’s Wednesday and I’m only just now getting around to posting a post, but it takes me a long time to recover from my weekends because they’re so damned intense.

Like, I’ve been sick for about a week now, right?  But we had a yard sale on Saturday because I totally [...] Continue Reading…

posted by Crissy in Toy With Me On Wednesdays, You're NOT hardcore, unless you LIVE hardcore and have Comments (17)

Crissy is sick, so here’s a cute video of Homeslice on a lazy Saturday morning

shot on 6/19 using a canon 5d mark 2 in HD video with a 50mm f/1.4 nikkor lens.

MVI 4737 from ken and crissy gilbert on Vimeo.

posted by Crissy's_Pimp in About nothing, really and have Comments (9)

Ask Girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,

How do you keep your girlish figure and what do you recommend for me to do the same?

Kid’s yoga.  You should do that. And eat healthy food like a carrot once in a while and only have one cookie.  That will keep you fit and trim and dazzling.

Dear Girlfriend,

What makes Alice get diarrhea?

Worms in her throat. And coffee. [...] Continue Reading…

posted by Crissy in Ask Girlfriend and have Comments (21)

Okay, so maybe Jazzercise is like, fun or whatever

Remember how Lynne and I had an eecards fight about the gayness of Jazzercise vs tap class, and then she challenged me to a gay-off?

Well, I finally went to her Jazzercise class because Pole Dancing is over now, thank Jesus, and you know what?

It’s completely gay and I love it because gay is fun. I grapevined and chassed, arabesqued [...] Continue Reading…

posted by Crissy in Babymamadrama, Geinus wasted @ your library, Go sell crazy somewhere else!, Oops! I crapped my pants, Toy With Me On Wednesdays, You're NOT hardcore, unless you LIVE hardcore and have Comments (20)

Okay so maybe I *do* have a life, sometimes. Like, a couple times a year.

Yesterday Mister took the day out of work so we could go to this annual party thrown by an Internet Service Provider for all the tech nerds and their families from all the colleges across RI. It’s at the beach, kids are super-welcome (they even provide kid food and a variety of beach toys for them to keep), [...] Continue Reading…

posted by Crissy in About nothing, really, Go sell crazy somewhere else!, Oops! I crapped my pants, Whatcha Eatin'?, You're NOT hardcore, unless you LIVE hardcore, You're gonna shit when I tell you! and have Comments (16)

I got a new plant yesterday. Someone was just giving them away and I took it because I love getting new plants. It’s sort of like getting a new pet, except they don’t piss on the floor.

We’ve been pet sitting The Richard and Michele’s dog, Henry, for a week now.

Henry, Queefies, Queefies, Henry.

And Alice doesn’t mind having him around too much as long as he doesn’t get up on her bed which is of course really my bed but Alice likes to pretend it’s hers mostly because she’s a dog and she doesn’t really own [...] Continue Reading…

posted by Crissy in About nothing, really, Crissy's House is in an Idiot Colony, Don't Look at Me. I'm Ugly in the Morning., Oops! I crapped my pants, The Fur Kids, You're NOT hardcore, unless you LIVE hardcore and have Comments (18)

TWM Wednesday

What Makes You Feel Sexy?

posted by Crissy's_Pimp in About nothing, really and have No Comments

I, am a finalist.

So yesterday Toy with Me emailed me to tell me that I’ve been selected as a finalist in the 2010 BlogHer Voices of the Year humor category for that story I wrote about selling my panties on Craigslist.

Well.

I don’t follow BlogHer too much because I don’t have time to follow anything anymore, not even my own blog.  I don’t [...] Continue Reading…

posted by Crissy in Bow to Your Queen Bitches and have Comments (13)

I only came here to tell you to go somewhere else, but you’ll totally forgive me once you see where you’re going.

You wanna see my mad sick pole dancing skillz, yo?

Crissy Reviews a Stripper Pole

If you don’t go see this, I feel sorry for you for being so lame.

posted by Crissy in I Touch Myself, Oops! I crapped my pants, You're NOT hardcore, unless you LIVE hardcore and have Comments (6)