Does anyone have the phone number for the Dyson people? Actually, it could be any vacuum cleaner company, it doesn’t really matter which one.

I need the advertising department please.

I’ve got an idea for a Super Bowl commercial. Check it out:

Picture your average American living room with a vacuum cleaner parked in the middle of it.

A person approaches the vacuum, turns it on, and extends the wand to vacuum the drapes. The vacuum sucks in the drapes, the room, the house, and then the entire universe leaving the bewildered person and the vacuum alone in white space.

And the tag line reads: “Dyson. We totally suck.”

Freaking brilliant, right?

Advertising genius wasted in the back room of a library.

Instead of working yesterday, Lynne and I decided to come up with a list of presidential candidates that we feel are more qualified than the ones who are currently running.

Below is a collaborative list:

  • Toonces the Driving Cat
  • Charo
  • Orville Reddenbacher
  • William Shatner
  • 1/2 bottle of cough syrup
  • Carrot Top
  • Vanilla Ice
  • Jessica Simpson
  • butter
  • Diego
  • Any of the Care Bears
  • Kathy Griffin
  • Big Bird
  • Supernanny
  • lint

I really think butter might have a chance. Who doesn’t love butter?

Any other suggestions?

She is everywhere I am. I drive down 95, she’s there. I turn on my TV, she’s there. I go to Wal-Mart, she’s there.  I have a romantic dinner out with my husband, and you guessed it, she’s there. 

It was our 5th wedding anniversary and we actually went out on a real date! We got dressed up in our nicest outfits. I did the smoky eye, sheer lip and heavily sprayed up-do (I was very careful to stay away from candles), and we drove 53 minutes to the place where we got married. We sat in the room where our reception was held. We ordered what we ate on our wedding day, etc.  It was a lot of fun. 

To commemorate the event, we visited the gift shop to see if there was some sort of trinket to bring home with us.  Well, we didn’t find anything, but right there, where I least expected to see her, there she was on a bottle of EVOO.  

She’s everywhere people, and she’s out for world domination.

Be afraid.