VIVIAN!
We call her “Vivi” for short just like in Ya Ya Sisterhood.
Now, I know you all voted for Fiona, and we started calling her that, but it shortened to “Fifi” and she’s totally not a “Fifi.” We decided to go with Vivian instead because it means “alive” or “lively” and that is what she is becoming–a very lively and mischievous girl!
She has mastered the stairs and is very interested in the cat box crunchies in the basement. I’ve caught her nosing around in there a few times. When I scold her, she slinks away like, “I wasn’t doing anything. My nose accidentally fell into the kitty box. I swear!”
I’ve had to rescue Girlfriend’s Care Bears from her several times. She’s particularly fond of trying to relieve Grumpy Bear of his stuffing and I can’t say I blame her. Grumpy bear is kind of a dick.
My mother-in-law bought her a gift of a Costco sized box of dog cookies. She steals from the box whenever I open the pantry door, but I pretend not to notice because she needs to fatten up. Sadly, Alice is a little too, ahem, fluffy and does not need to fatten up, but she’s right behind the tall girl, stealing cookies. And they run over to the rug in the play room with their treats–thinking they got away with something, and then they make a crumbly cookie mess.
This makes me incredibly happy to see them doing a caper together, and I don’t mind cleaning it up. After all, I have a really nice vacuum cleaner.
But oh my God, you guys, she pees on the orange porn carpet!
I KNOW!!!!
Very, very, naughty Vivian. The only one allowed to pee on the porn carpet is me and that’s only on Very Special Evenings with Mister. (Not really. Nobody is allowed to pee on the porn carpet because it’s too nice.)
She has started trying to play with Alice, but due to the size disparity, there have been bumps in the road.
They kind of remind me of Uma Thurman and Jennine Garofalo in The Truth About Cats and Dogs.
Unlike the movie characters though, they’re only sort of friends. Alice can be a little snotty toward poor Vivian. The way Vivian plays scares the bejeezus out of Alice, and she gets really low and still and looks around like “whoa. What the hell was that?” and when Vivian does her Super! Excited! Greyhound! laps around the yard, Alice takes that opportunity to hide under the deck. I keep telling Alice that doing a few laps with her sister won’t kill her and it might even take some of that extra, ahem, fluff out of her fur, but she’s not much of runner, you guys. She’s more of a sleeper or a stand around-er. Hence the fluff problem.
But we’re not judging, Queefies.
Hopefully, they’ll figure out how to be playmates. It’s only been a little under two weeks.
Oh, and she walks pretty well on a leash and stays so close to me that she bumps into me sometimes.
And she plays with toys now!
And I caught her sitting in a chair looking out the window with Alice!
She’s…becoming a dog!
But she hasn’t barked yet.
It’s so much fun to watch her grow into her new life. Family and friends have been bringing her gifts and coming to visit her like a new baby. In fact, I don’t even think Homeslice got this much attention. My mom got her a crate, and Bat Cave Twidget even sent her a very fancy collar you’ll be seeing in pictures very soon.
I highly recommend this experience to anyone considering adopting a retired racer. They are totally lovely and sweet and I’m so glad we did this.
Big Pussy continues to not give a shit one way or the other.




















