Dog Costume for daughter bought after Christmas on clearance at Target: $11.99
Swiffer Duster handle and extra swiffer pads: $5.99
Nearly causing an auto accident outside my house when a passing driver caught a glimpse of a lunatic in a dog costume dusting windowsills and nearly steered into an oncoming car: Priceless!
You should have seen her face!
Online shopping trip to Old Navy to buy two pairs of new “flirt cut” pants: $35.50
Discovering I lost no weight during the great Olestra incident of 2008: disappointing
Yummy Girl Scout Cookies on break room table at work: FREE!!!
Trying on new pants to discover they call attention to my second ass and squeeze the fat around my middle thereby creating the dreaded “muffin top”: Priceless
Lost pay from taking sick day out of work: $104.00
Cold medicine and pack of purse sized tissues: $11.34
Driving to work and sneezing entire contents of congested sinuses onto sleeve of my black wool coat: Priceless
Taking daughter shopping for Clearance aisle kitty and doggie costumes at Target on my “day off”: $20.00
Taking daughter to the park only for her to poop on the slide and call me stupid: 1 hour of precious “day off” time wasted on ungrateful devil baby.
Working a full day yesterday and letting grandparents deal with her instead: Priceless
I’m starting a weekly ritual: Priceless Thursdays
Time will tell if I can actually pull it off, but here’s the first one.
New tires for car: $500
New rear windshield wiper: $10
Not smashing car through neighbor’s bushes when car careens backward out of snowbank: Priceless.