On Wednesday night, Mister and Girlfriend were taking out the trash when Girlfriend spotted the neighbor taking out his trash too. And this is the neighbor whose dog, Tequila, has been shitting all over Crissy’s lawn and pissing Crissy off to no end and Girlfriend is well aware of it as she overhears Crissy and Mister arguing over who is going to go over there and kick some ass.
And it goes a little something like this:
“You should mention to Paulie that Tequila shits in our yard.”
“Or, you could do it.”
“I’m not doing it. You do it. You know them better than I do.”
“Fine. I will. Next time I see him, I’ll mention it.”
And then Crissy just winds up passive aggressively throwing the shit over the fence and onto the hood of their van because neither of the Crissys actually has the balls to say anything.
Apparently, Girlfriend is sick of hearing about it and so she goes over to Paulie and says “you know Paulie, Tequila pees and poops in our yard and it’s killing the grass.” And Paul was very apologetic and pretended he had no idea and went all asses and elbows to clean up the shit!!!
Mister says it was a marvel to behold and he tried to downplay it to keep the peace, but Girlfriend had the situation totally under control.
Crissy has learned something very, very valuable here Queefies.
From now on, Girlfriend is the enforcer because who is going to argue with her?
Crissy knows better than to argue with Girlfriend!
She’ll straighten motherfuckers out.
She also yelled “you’re stupid idiots!” out the window at the new asshat tenants across the street who let their two year old son ride his little car thingy into the street while they just sit relaxing on the front steps.
And while we’re on the subject of parenting, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all you mothers out there! And Crissy would like to send a very special shout out to all the people who are currently fucking those mothers because without you motherfuckers, we mothers would be very sad indeed and so holla Motherfuckers! Holla mothers!
Crissy will be back on Monday with the full report on whether Mister fucked up or came through for Mother’s Day this year. No pressure, Mister. It’s just that the quality and appropriateness of your gift to Crissy will be considered to be in direct proportion to how much you love/do not love and appreciate/do not appreciate Crissy. No big deal.
PS: And for a mother’s day gift from the Queefs, Crissy wants you to think about her cervix all weekend long. Everyone think DILATION. Do it now, dilation, dilation, dilation, dilation...just like that all weekend.