As you are all aware, I have always been a wonderful dancer and it will surprise you to know that I’ve never even had one lesson. And I’ve been scared to take lessons because I’m afraid that my natural and innate talent for the art of movement would make the instructor and other students feel overwhelmed–sort of how you’d feel if Jesus walked into the room right now.

However, I’ve always felt that taking lessons could bring my dancing to a whole ‘nuther level but since I’m saving up for my BMW, I can’t really afford to pay for them right now. So I got this helpful DVD out of the library.

I think I did rather well, actually.

I’m a hip hop Soopa-sta!

Well I must say it’s been a whirlwind week!

Yesterday I found this on my desk:

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It’s a blackmail note. Sadly for the blackmailer, I don’t have $10,000. Go ahead and do your worst Ms. You Know Who (Lynne!). I’m not afraid!

And then yesterday this came to the house in the mail:


I don’t know who sent my video in as an audition tape to Dancing with the Stars, but they don’t want me. Bastards wouldn’t know talent if it Momboed right up their ass! Thanks anyway. It means a lot to know that you believe in me. Maybe you could send it in to So You Think You Can Dance? I like that show better anyway. Less ballroom, more hardcore booty shakin’.

I won’t let the haters drag me down. People get jealous when you’re at the top of your game like I am.