So here we are folks.  20 days have passed and I am feeling like a motivational failure.  FAILURE.  Which definitely explains why I had chocolate cake for dinner.

No.  I did it because chocolate cake is delicious and we’re all going to die anyway.  Look for my new book, “The Absurdist Diet”, hitting bookstores never because THC.

So devoted fans, followers, lovers former and current, I pose to you this:  What shall we post on Crissy’s blog during these lean times?  Photos of adorable Asian babies?  La musica de Tito Puente?  Weird German fetish videos?

Please leave your love and suggestions in the comments so we can lure the lady dragon back to her word hoard.

Remember that time Crissy apologized for disappearing from the internet only to fall off the face of the Earth nary 6 months later?


Perhaps you were like me.  Scared.  Heartbroken.  Alone.  Still slightly aroused somehow.  With nothing new to adorn our shrines with or talk about at high society cocktail parties, we have found a Crissy size hole in our heart.  Which is not dangerous, because homegirl is as skinny as a poorly made but well marketed margarita.

In the years that have passed since the universe thrust our sexy, chaotic, exciting, and sexy lives into synchronicity, I have taken on the role of friend, jester, unlicensed therapist, and co-couchfort royalty.  Together, we have managed to travel forward in time.

But now I am prepared for the most noble of tasks.  A task handed down by the goddesses themselves.  For it is I who will make this bitch write in her fucking blog.


The road ahead of me is long and hard, but sometimes long and hard is just what the doctor ordered.