O Crissy Where Art Thou?

So here we are folks.  20 days have passed and I am feeling like a motivational failure.  FAILURE.  Which definitely explains why I had chocolate cake for dinner.

No.  I did it because chocolate cake is delicious and we’re all going to die anyway.  Look for my new book, “The Absurdist Diet”, hitting bookstores never because THC.

So devoted fans, followers, lovers former and current, I pose to you this:  What shall we post on Crissy’s blog during these lean times?  Photos of adorable Asian babies?  La musica de Tito Puente?  Weird German fetish videos?

Please leave your love and suggestions in the comments so we can lure the lady dragon back to her word hoard.

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  1. Tell stories. The holidays are coming up. Tell batshit crazy family holiday stories…. Ive got a couple involving cousins leaving church to get 6 different bottles of wine to get Grandma shitfaced. (all of this on Christmas eve). The time my aunts an mom got into a passive aggressive bidding war on who’s kid winning most at life and is not the crazy branch of this family tree… Families are nutballs. AKA writing GOLD!

  2. Wish I had something to suggest. I got nothin but lying cheating men, the suckage of work that is trying to make me work EVERY.SINGLE.HOLIDAY., brake issues on my car that has been back 3 yes 3 times to the ass at the car place, etc…….you get the picture. Although, I would love your opinion of lying cheating men. Better yet, suggestions as to what to do to the asshole. And yeah a guest blogger to tell us some stories about you. I hope they are as good as the hair on fire story, cause that thing was the funniest shit ever. It still makes me laugh when I think of it. Reprint it! Epic!

  3. My vote would be for the naughty and nice! Throw in some naughty adult stories, even if you have to write them creatively (to avoid the younger children). The weather and the holidays are stressful and sometimes even depressing, a nice warm story would fit nicely in our stockings. Crissy is a great writer, I’d love to read some creative juicy stuff. Even if only 10% is real, it would be fun to decipher fact from fiction.

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