My dreams of having a maidlaundressnanny have been crushed, guys. HippieMom SuperNanny has left us. The halcyon days are over.
Her husband got a fancy new job and they had to move away. Far, far away and so I no longer have her at the house, doing battle against the filth and the dishes and the laundry.
Our new childcare arrangements are so complicated we had to make a spreadsheet, but we’re making a go of it and not replacing her because there is no replacement for HippieMom SuperNanny.
We cannot bear the thought of even trying.
It’s only been one day and the house is already falling to crap.
Queefies, how is it possible that I can vacuum and wash the floors on Monday night and by Tuesday evening, even though nobody has been in the house all day, the place is a total fucking shitshow?
I have one theory, and one theory only.
Alice and Vivian have all the dogs in the neighborhood over for a dog party and the recalcitrant shitbirds ham it up in my kitchen!
I leave in the morning, and the two of them start barking out the windows, exactly like how it takes place on 101 Dalmations when the puppies go missing, and the next thing you know, they all come over here. Tequila brings beer (ironically, she doesn’t like hard liquor), Henry‘s got da Chronic, and Talus brings the hos.