A few days ago, I got a friend request on Facebook from a stranger. This is not a noteworthy event, I know, but check out his profile picture:
Um. Yeah. That kinda makes it noteworthy.
And his philosophy is: Sex.
And all his “friends” are either young girls or pictures of lacy thongs.
He is so barking up the wrong tree with me it’s not even funny! Think again, buddy!
Doesn’t he know he’s talking to a frigid 36 year-old librarian with a brain full of tumors and a constant period? He’d probably be pretty interested in the lactation though. That’s pretty awesome if you’re a sickie.
Anyway, it got interesting after I ignored the request and got a message from him that said:
hi will u add me ?
And I’m thinking, “shit. Now I have to deal with him.” So I’m all,
Who are you, Jim? Tell me about yourself. I’m a little protective of my facebook as it is my personal account.
i am 38 years old 180 cm 77kg green eyes brown hair married actor i like sex very much and i’m not shy of saying that looking 4 sex adventures all over the globe coz i travel a lot
Oooooo SEX ADVENTURES!!!! I thought… ” GOODY! I’ve been praying this day would come!”
And so I’m just like,
I have no sex adventures for you. How does your wife feel about your sex adventures?
And poor Jim was offended and he dumped me!
no need for this moral lecture anyway my fetish is to have sex with decent ladies but like this u turned me off
Wow you guys. I really fucked up. I haven’t been dumped this hard since, well, you know. I could have had SEX ADVENTURES but Jim only wants to have his sex adventures with “decent ladies” who have sex with random strangers who friend them on Facebook and don’t care that he’s married.
I could have had Sex Adventures with an International Man of Mystery, but I’m not a decent enough lady.
I think I need to change my profile picture because maybe this one of my nursing boobies is attracting the wrong kind of friends or whatever.
Or, maybe I should keep it to see if I can catch me some more blog fodder.