We (I) are (am) officially looking to replace old Sasha Saab with a new (ish) one! And in preparation for that, I have been practicing (okay, we went out for half an hour) driving a manual transmission because I will not let it beat me, people.
I will drive a manual transmission and it will be fine and I will DOMINATE THE ROAD.
And so I did it. I drove the scary WRX up and down hills and I speeded all over and everything and all it took was a little Xanax to get me to stop panicking. I only stalled like, three or four times which for me is a really big deal as every attempt I’ve made at this has been a total disaster.
(if you haven’t seen that video, you really need to so you can appreciate fully the depths of my driving dysfunction)
But this time, with a little 0.5 mg of Xanax, I’m smiling and driving and having fun!
I am driving Mister’s car! I’m doing it and I’m not panicking!
And the children are unafraid!
Homeslice was perfectly at ease with her Hello Kitty purse in her lap (which we take everywhere with us–”BAG? BAG? Eh! Eh! Eh!), and Girlfriend didn’t complain even once that “mommy is making it bumpy!”
She did have a few concerns when a lot of smoke filled the cabin after I stopped on (and tried to start up) a particularly steep hill. She complained that it “smells like dog shit.” I’m very proud that my daughter has inherited my potty mouth. Maybe someday she’ll be a famous blogger just like her mother.
On second inspection of this picture though, it appears that she’s shamelessly trying to suffocate a horse in a plastic bag. Perhaps she’ll be a famous serial killer instead.
Only time will tell, Queefies.
So we haven’t bought anything yet, but we’re looking at one of these babies which I fully intend to plaster with hippy bourgeois bohemian bumper stickers about not eating animals and marriage equality and having abortions and stuff like that. It’s the only way I can drive a station wagon and live with myself. I have to embrace smug middle class hippyness because otherwise it’s just a station wagon and I’m admitting I’m a mother with a bunch of kids and a dog that’s too big to fit in something sassier and cuter and I’m not sexy anymore.
I think I want one in blue or silver though. I will never own another black car. They look like crap all the time.
So that’s the news. We are officially looking for a car, meanwhile putting a car payment aside for a couple of months to make sure it’s comfortable for us and that I can continue to purchase food and heat and diapers with wild abandon like I’ve been doing.
In other words, I am very excited and I cannot wait to get into my new(ish) car and crank up the volume and drive the shit out of that thing all the way to Whole Foods!
- Zoom, Zoom, Zoom (ish)
- Crissy will drive like the wind someday
- Black Swan? Really?
- Sho-ould Old Ac-quain-tance Bee For-got And Ne-ver Na Na Hummm….
- Another Crissyspage Brilliant Idea.