So yesterday I went into Target to return some stuff Girlfriend got for Christmas that was either too big for her to wear or had too many little pieces for me to pick up off the floor. They took the toys back without a problem, but the little yoga pants and the sweater were handed, nay, shoved back to me as if they were made of dog shit. The woman was all fucking kinds of snotty and said “ma’am, I cannot take these things back in such poor condition.” And I’m all “What do you mean? The tags are all on. These things have not been worn!” And she was all “We cannot put these things out on the floor like this. They’re COVERED in hair.”
Okay. First of all, there was probably a total of four Pig Pussy furs on the little yoga pants and ONE white poupon of lint on the sweater. Nothing was in “poor condition” and I certainly hadn’t wiped my ass with the stuff like she was implying I had. She didn’t even fold it, she just balled it up and shoved it at me.
So then I was all “so all I have to do is go home and lint roll this stuff and you’ll take it back?” And she was all huffy and was like “If you want.”
I left because there were about ten other Target customers in line behind me patiently awaiting their snotty attitude and their dog shit handsies backsies. Mister told me I should have put up a fuss, but I didn’t want to be rude to the other people. I didn’t want to be THAT Target customer and have everyone hate me. I’ve had enough haters lately, thankyouverymuch.
I took my list of stuff I needed from there and left the store WITHOUT BUYING ANYTHING!
That will teach them! I could have dropped $100 in there easily, but I did not because they’re dicks and I hate Target now.
I’ve been meaning to break up with that place for a long time and now I’ve had enough!
WE’RE THROUGH, TARGET! DO YOU HEAR ME? All. FUCKING. DONE.
Now that I don’t shop there anymore, I might be able to afford to buy myself a fancy car and I will drive by the store and shout rudeness at Target and they will probably cry because they miss me but I will just turn up the radio on my fancy car stereo and not give two shits.
- A blind lady, a pokey cane, a pregnant chick, a cute little girl, and a blown out Leonardo Di Caprio walk into Target
- Bring It, Bitch. Crissy Will Kill You Twice.
- Target Detox
- If You’re Good At Sports, Crissy Hates You.
- The Closet Under The Stairs