Have you guys bought the Cracker Barrel cracker cuts cheese yet? Do you know how much easier my life has become since I stopped being such a hippy and started buying some “convenience products?” It is so much easier, you guys.
Both Girlfriend and Homeslice live on cheese and crackers and quite frankly, my stress level needs to go down so instead of trying to cheap out and buy the other kind of cheese, you know, the kind you have to stand there cutting yourself like an asshole, I started letting them do it for me and I don’t mind paying them either. Basically, I’m saving someone’s job by letting them cut the cheese for me.
That’s right, I said “cut the cheese.”
My life is easier now, plus I’m basically a hero and am keeping the people over at Cracker Barrel in their jobs and NOT contributing to unemployment statistics.
You can all line up to kiss my ring now.
You’re welcome, Cracker Barrel people. Also Stop & Shop people because I buy my fruit salad pre-made now too.
Also, Lexapro helps.
I used to care about buying convenience products, but now I take a pill for that.