Crissy goes to the dogs

So it’s going well. 

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Girlfriend got on the bus without a fuss and had a wonderful day.  Her favorite part was the bus ride because she says she’s “fallen in love with the bus monitor” (I am totally screwed) and her least favorite part was when a kid licked her Good Luck Bear necklace.


Horrified, Girlfriend asked if she could use the bathroom and pretended that she was peeing and said she went into the stall and made a “psssssssssssss” noise, flushed the toilet, came out, went to the sink and while washing her hands, washed her Good Luck Bear necklace.

I love that she made a “psssssssssssss” noise for authenticity.

Here’s the obligatory first day of school picture.

I’m not sure what’s going on with the headband situation here:

And then yesterday as we were walking home from the bus, some guy was standing on his doorstep with his first grader huddled into his leg and he says “Excuse me.  My daughter has something to say to you” and then his kid tells me that “she was saying Maya’s name.”  Okay…AND…?  But that’s all I could get.  I guess she was accusing Girlfriend of being mean.  Because she said a kid’s name. At least that’s what I could piece together from calling other parents of kids who were on the bus with them. Poor Girlfriend had no idea why she was in trouble. I think little miss first grade needs to put her big girl panties on and I fully intend to tell her so at the bus stop this morning.  I practiced my speech all night.  Probably I won’t use the word “fishcunt” though.  I might save that for the next time she has a problem with my Girlfriend.  Also, it might be possible that the bottle of Chardonnay I drank last night made me think calling a first grader a fishcunt would be totally appropriate.

So yes. Your Crissy is officially the mother of a kindergartner and it’s not so bad as I thought.  Life is way, way easier having only one kid to deal with and so I don’t miss her as much as I thought I would.  I hate saying that, because I do miss her a lot, but just…you know…I miss her in a different way.

Here’s the part where I give you permission to do the “told ya, told ya, told ya so” dance.

I hate it when the Internet is right.

Did I tell you guys I want another dog?  I do.  I’ve wanted another dog for about three years now and back when we were deciding to have Homeslice, it was between her and a Labradoodle.  Anyone who’s been reading for a while knows this.  And I haven’t stopped wanting another dog since then, but lately I’ve been really, really wanting one.

Maybe it’s my kindergarten separation anxiety coming through? Maybe because it’s fun to think about? Maybe it’s because I love dogs and I always have.  And so does Girlfriend.  And so does Alice.  And so does Homeslice.  The only one around here who does not want another dog is Mister (and maybe Big Pussy). He’s always going on about having enough to take care of as it is and blah, blah, blah…He’s boring.

I dog sat for two weeks this summer and to be honest, taking care of two dogs was no big whoop. I liked having a bigger dog around the house because I felt safer. Alice is just a little ankle biter and nobody is scared of her. So, I’m looking for a medium sized, non-shedding, housebroken, neutered, adult dog with good manners who likes dogs, cats, little children, and folding laundry.  And when I find it, Mister will probably say “no,” but a girl can keep dreaming, right? I can also just get the dog and hide it, and when Mister comes home and finds a dead would-be predator and all the laundry folded, I can bust out the dog and be like “HA!”

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  1. The difference between having one dog or two is minimal. Honestly, I prefer it since they then have a companion.

    There is the double fun of taking them to the vet and the double expenses, though minimal. And – double the piles to clean up…

    But, to come home to see your cute dogs cuddling together is pretty sweet.

    So, basically, I’m pro-multiple dogs. 🙂

  2. I know what you mean about missing them but in a different way. I feel the same way now that my son is in preschool. Lil Miss First Grader better check herself before she goes wrongly implicating Girlfriend. That shit just isn’t right. It sucks when other people raise kids that can’t handle the outside world.
    .-= Sabreena’s last blog post… Day 3 =-.

  3. I always learn such great new vocabulary words here, it’s like my own urban dictionary.
    Glad kinder is going well, kinda nice to catch your breath while they’re be schooled.
    I love that your looking for another dawg. My post today seems so timely. I am also working on the laundry trick, keep you posted as to how that is working for us.

  4. Yeah, Ken. Because working my ass off every minute of every day to make sure everyone is clean, loved, and well nourished isn’t enough to deserve ANYTHING. I deserve nothing unless you’re getting enough blow jobs, is that how I’m supposed to understand it, because if so, you’re a pretty unappreciative douche bag.

  5. whoops. watch out dude, there’s a new dog – and a lot less sex – in your future if you don’t do some serious back-peddling here.

  6. ok, so if you work really hard (and i agree you absolutely do), is it a good idea to take on MORE work?

    no, adding a second dog is not like doubling the amount, but it still absolutely does incur some overhead.

    when people are stressed out and stretched thin, taking on another dependent is not on my list of best things to do. where does the time required to socialize and interact with and train the new dog come from? what is going to give? something has to.

    i’m joking about “earning” stuff. it’s a humor blog. the fact is–nice as they are–getting a bj does not make extra time to get thing done, nor does it pay vet bills.

  7. I will never forget moving to a new neighborhood and the PACK of kids bringing The Girl home and all sayin’ “Tell your momma what you DID”. What she DID was kiss a boy, on the cheek. One not of her own skin color. OH THE SCANDAL. She was FOUR.

    Kids just LOVE to try to get other kids in trouble.

    And I LOVE that Girlfriend “kept it real” and supplied the peeing sound! She’s quite the girl!
    .-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… Thursday Thunks and Random Rambling =-.

  8. I agree with Ken on the dog. Can you go back and find that post from a couple of years ago when Alice had the runs all over the house and you came home and had to clean up for like seven hours?

    Because that post made me never, ever want a dog.
    .-= Melissa Lion’s last blog post… The Jury Is Out =-.

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