Fuss About and The Little Bother: Alone again, naturally

Today, perhaps even as you are reading this, I will be putting Girlfriend on the bus headed for kindergarten, trying desperately not to cry until it rolls away. I don’t know where I’m going to pull the strength from, but I have to find it so I don’t freak her out.

I have issues with the bus, Queefies.

I’m quite certain that somehow there is a black hole that exists between the bus and the classroom that sucks unsuspecting kindergartners in, never to be seen again and unlike some people, I actually want to see my kindergartner again.

There’s also a black hole in the ventilation system at the mall, you know. I never look up when I’m in a big mall because it reminds me to be scared that I’m going to be sucked into the vents and then POOF! Bye, bye, Crissy.

Shut up.

It could totally happen.

Maybe all those people you hear about on the news who go missing at the mall are alive somewhere in the ductwork over Banana Republic.

I don’t really think Girlfriend is going to get sucked into a black hole. Don’t worry. It just seems totally weird and really bad mommyish to just put my baby on a bus and not see her again until much later in the afternoon and just assume she’s fine.

Like, isn’t somebody going to call me to let me know how she’s doing?

Like, can’t I call the school to check on her?

Like, can’t I stand outside the classroom window and tap on the glass and wave “hi” to her?

No. I cannot. I don’t want to be that asshole even though I really, really want to be that asshole.

And so Homeslice, whom Girlfriend calls “The Little Bother,” and I, who she calls “Fuss About,” will walk her to her bus stop and put her on the bus. Hopefully, she will get on it without one of her diva style incidents she’s so famous for, and then we will go home and figure out what we’re going to do without her stealing toys and making messes all over the house. Perhaps we’ll even have time to write our blog and wouldn’t that be something?

Maybe I will find my sense of humor again now that I’m not spending my days refereeing fights, denying eleventy million requests for a “treat” and re-capping markers?

I’m trying to look at all the positives here.

I bought her a Good Luck bear necklace to wear today.  She’s wicked into Care Bears. When I give it to her I’m going to tell her that when she feels nervous or scared, just touch her necklace and Good Luck bear will surround her with luck.  She has a good imagination.  It might work.

And my sweet, wonderful friend Ms.Darkstar made her some special First Day of School perfume!  It’s in solid form, like lip balm, and she sent three scents–Blueberry, which is Girlfriend’s favorite, Honey Rose, which is my favorite, and an amazing Berry Peach.  You guys need to get some of this stuff because it’s not loaded with chemical crap and you’re not gonna get body rot from it. There’s seriously only like 5 ingredients and they’re all stuff I recognize, so I have no problem putting it on my kid.  She feels so grown up to have her very own perfume!  It’s really cute.

So yes.  If it’s about 9:00 when you’re reading this, say a little prayer for your Crissy that she can manage to hold the water works until Girlfriend gets on the bus.

And it’s a Toy with Me day today!  I’ll get you that link in a sec.

HERE IT IS:

Dating For Ugly People

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25 comments

  1. Everything will be fine! But, you know, it never hurts to go to the school and do a little lurking…just call and see when lunch is and DON’T let GF know that you’re there!

    I never had to send my little one on the BIG, BAD bus, so that’s the only advice I’ve got for ya!

    Sending “it’s not a crying time” thoughts for your strength this morning!

  2. The Girl, who is now almost 16 (when did this happen?) is still alive & well in spite of having ridden the bus (in the HOOD, yo!) so I am sure Girlfriend will be fine (and if she got sucked into an alternate dimension, she’d give them that “look” of hers and they’d send her back toot sweet!)

    Still, I know this is the first day…so just remember to breathe and you’ll be fine.

    So happy that Girlfriend likes her new solid perfume! It was fun to make! Waiting to hear her “Ask Girlfriend” advice now that she’s an academic!
    .-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… Words- Inspiration- Productivity all escape me =-.

  3. Yeah!!! Congratulations!

    Now make sure you have a treat ready for after school. Girlfriend will probably be expecting it.

  4. I love that pimp knew exactly when you were at the bus stop and posted it here. It’s like you were all there together as a family and we were there too. And well, I got shivers and a little teary eyed. So there. I love you guys. Don’t tell anyone.

    When I was a youth director, I always got invited to the annual “Mommy’s Free” back to school party on the first day of school. They’d get wicked wasted on mimosas and bloody marys and pass out by 10 a.m. It’s always an option for ya.
    .-= k8’s last blog post… You Put The Lime In the Coke- You Nut =-.

  5. Congrats to GF and Crissy (and HS and Pimp) on surviving the first getting on the bus. My mom told me recently she cried every first day of school for all five of us all the way through college. I had no idea! I also recently read about a lady who makes a giant cookie (puts all the cookie dough in one giant pan rather than cute little cookies) for her 6 kids as a first day of school treat. She says the older ones really look forward to the tradition. Since you’re a health freak, you could make her a carrot treat or some bran muffins. (HAHA)

    I cried the first day of day care for my baby. Not quite the same, but still knowing someone else is caring for MY baby kills me (last week, when my hub was out of town and I had to drop her off EVERY SINGLE DAY, it was AWFUL!). THis is why Mommy picks up and Daddy drops off.

    Hope you enjoy your “freedom” of only having one girl in the house….kind of like a few years ago when it was only you and GF 🙂

  6. Aww, I knew she’d be fine. Now you can get your brains back a bit. Just a little bit, of course. Wouldn’t want you to be too whole.

    I’m sitting in a jury room. It has the internet. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE. With their germs.
    .-= Melissa Lion’s last blog post… Jury Duty =-.

  7. My guess is Girlfriend is having a blast. The girls and boys in her class will love her. She’ll butter up her teachers. And she’ll come skipping home, happy as can be. And then? Then you’ll realize this is good for her … and matter of proxy, good for you, too.

  8. I thought it was weird too to just put my 5 year old on the bus and not see her until later. How would I know she made it? I am glad you both survived.

    I was looking at the website you posted with the perfume and I couldn’t find perfume anywhere? Am I missing something? My kiddo would love that.

  9. Whoohoo! For you Crissy, for not breaking down in front of Girlfriend. For Girlfriend for handling it all with such maturity. For Homeslice for it just being another day!! 😉 And for Pimp, for being with you(if not physically, then emotionally and mentally) every step of the way!!

    And don’t worry about what you will do everyday she’s at school, the time seems to FLY by and then she’s coming home, and you’re doing dinner, and then bed and then….and then….!!! I so remember these days, fourteen years ago I was putting my girl on the bus for first grade(we put her in a private Kindergarten because *I* couldn’t handle her going to the ‘real’, public school!!(sheeeesh!) And this year she’s in her second year of Culinary school, just got her first FULL TIME BIG paying job and is such a great, well rounded person I’m so proud of her I could bust!!!!

    So just relax…….you can forget Girlfriend having a problem with the bus this year……….she’ll have NO PROBLEMS.

    It’s the NEXT few years when she’ll mess with you!! I’ll never forget one day that year, standing at the end of my driveway waiting for my girl to get off the bus, and the bus driver saying she wasn’t on it!! :0 I could have had a coronary!! I FLEW the mile to school to find out that she was ‘walking’ home!!! WHAT???? I passed her??? Yep, I found her…………about a block away……….happily walking home!! 😉
    Then there was the time in third grade, I called her teacher, called the office and put a note in her back pack to have her stay at school, that I would pick her up, only to get to school and she wasn’t there and they didn’t know where she was!! I called my parents who headed out in two different cars searching the streets around the school. I called her father at work in a panic, he left and made the twenty minute drive in SEVEN minutes to find her in a light drizzle on the play equipment in our back yard crying because when she got off the bus(?????) no one was here and she didn’t know what to do. And then the time in fifth grade when her father and I had a meeting with the psychologist and we had the office call her room when we got there to tell the teacher to not have her get on the bus and go to the office and wait for us to drive her home. Only to come out of the meeting and find out she was allowed to take the bus(no one from the office made sure she made to the office!) and was waiting at home for us!!

    It’s not the child(GF or HS) that will cause your heart attack during her school years………………..it’s the educated adults!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

  10. Oh NO THAT is my future. I keep telling myself that by the time my son is old enough to go to school i will have come to terms with it….SHIT. You pretty much just confirmed I’m going to lose it!
    But like you I will hold it in until he is out of sight.
    Ya know in some doggy boarding facilities they have live video cameras you can watch of your dog….wouldnt that be fantastic to have them in the classroom?
    I know “big brother” but maybe just for me to watch
    .-= Crystal’s last blog post… =-.

  11. My son starts Pre-K next week, or the week after since he might be getting into a different program. That different program also involves a bus. He’s never been with anyone who wasn’t family or the time that he wasn’t with family we were in the same building constantly.
    He says he’s just going to “scribble all of the papers.”
    But seriously, I’m freaking out. And it makes me feel old. And I’m sitting here, at my own school (yay for being at a state school and nearly 30), almost crying while I type this at the thought of my baby going to school next week (or the week after).
    .-= Kim’s last blog post… Day 25 =-.

  12. My little girl just started school today. We’re in England and we start them at age four here so I really did wave goodbye to my baby this morning. However when I dropped her off this morning she turned to me and said “mummy- you can go home now” and walked off! I felt so rejected, are a few tears too much to ask?

  13. I didn’t cry when Matt went to Kindergarten, nor when Ryan went either. Matt’s first day of high school however, I wanted to ball my eyes out….

    Old in Houston,

    Marisa

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