Everything I Need to Know About Motherood I Learned from Animal House

A while back, The Gonzo Mama, publisher of The Gonzo Parenting Zine and recent guest writer at Toy with Me asked me to review her book, Everything I Need to Know About Motherhood I Learned from Animal House.

It’s taken me ages to finally do it (sorry Gonzo Mama!) because I’ve got my own Animal House going on over here.  In fact, I’m typing this with one hand while trying to keep Homeslice from falling off the bed and Girlfriend from kicking her in the face.  My life is pretty much a living hell 90% of the time.  And to think I’ve been awake since 2:30 am worrying about the welfare of these little crotchfroots! GAH!

But I digress.

This Gonzo Mama is truly a nutter.  She has seven children.

Yeah,  SEVEN.

As in 7.

I would totally kill myself if I had 7 kids, but this lady is a saint.  One little boy is her biological child, four others belong to her second husband, and two are adopted nieces.

Clearly, this lady knows a little bit about motherhood and marriage, and with that many kids running around, she’s got some funny stories!

This is what is says on the back of the book that had me lol’ing:

Raising kids is like living in a frat house.  There are too many all-nighters, there is never enough coffee or Top Ramen, the toilets are never clean, it’s no surprise if someone is puking and you never know who is going to be in your bed when you wake up.

The book is a collection of fun and entertaining essays which I read while sitting on the bathroom floor waiting for the kids to finish their baths.  It would also make an, ahem, wonderful potty time book if you’re a potty time reader.  I’m not, but some people are (Mister totally read it on the potty).  Think of it as the Reader’s Digest of motherhood, if you will.

I think my favorite chapter is the one titled Divine Secrets of the Ma-Ma Sisterhood. What she describes there is spot-on, and it is exactly why Mommy Blogs exist.  You’ve gotta read it.

Go git yerself a copy and have some laughs, Queefies!

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13 comments

  1. My mother was a SAH mom of 5. She used to jot down those sorts of thoughts and stories with the intention of writing a book someday too (she lost her notes in the housefire we had, so no worries about competition Gonzo Mama). I want 6 kids, but got started a little late for that. So I don’t think she’s nuts. I do, however, think there is a special place in heaven for moms.

    Congrats Gonzo on your book! How exciting!!

  2. I should probably wait until AFTER I have this kid before reading the book … otherwise, I can see myself making an appointment with an adoption agency to give Grasshopper away.
    .-= Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks’s last blog post… Scenes =-.

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