The other day I was exercising while the two Princesses of Fucking Everything enjoyed their dress ups and their play kitchen. It was sooooo cute watching them together until Girlfriend swiped the Hello Kitty purse Homeslice had been filling with toy cutlery right out of her hands.
Homeslice let out a bear-like growl, picked up a plastic toy knife, and shanked her sister!
Girlfriend will think twice before gankin’ her sister’s bag again, I can tell you that. I did nothing to intervene because Homeslice had the situation well in hand, clearly.
I’m probably a better mother than you because I firmly believe that children should try to settle conflicts themselves–even if bitches have to get cut.
She’s also been going out and gettin’ crunk and eating cake till 7pm.
She’s going to be the first 14 month-old in Juvee. We’re very proud, obviously.