Itty bitty titty committee

So yesterday I was at work and I went to Flickr so I could change my desktop background to a picture of Girlfriend and Homeslice that Mister took on Monday, and what do I find but a picture of me in my bikini top.

_MG_0668-6

and I looked at the comments and it seems that Mister, my husband, added it to the group “SMALL SAGGY BOOBS.”

Yes, he did.

As I understand it, it was at the suggestion of one of his Flickr buddies.

And, as you would expect,the pictures in that group are not very pretty boob pictures. They’re random and sad with a few stunning misfits here and there, but mostly saggy boobs. Here. Go check it out if you want.

What makes this really painful for me, Queefies, is that after the glory and the splendor of the nursing boobs from last year I am left with, yes, small and saggy boobs and Mister knows this is hard for me because boobs are one of the first things people notice on a woman. When you go from a 34 D voluptuous lady to a 34 A 12 year-old boy it sucks pretty hard core.

When I saw that I had been elected to the itty bitty titty committee I started crying at my desk and I felt like everyone was laughing at me. I wonder how Mister would like it if I started a group called “I have a micropenis” and put all pictures of him in it. Knowing him, he probably wouldn’t care, but that’s all I have to compare it to, so there you go.

And he doesn’t think he did anything wrong at all and that I’m being really sensitive and he says the pictures in that group are all nice pictures and the group is owned by a German guy and so there’s something lost in translation and “SMALL SAGGY BOOBS” isn’t really what it looks like, but I still think adding my picture to something under that title, no matter what the content, is a crappy and insensitive thing to do.

Is anyone German? What’s this say? durch.-hängende wackelnde Busen

I put it into Babelfish and it said something about hanging boobs. Still not pretty.

And so I’m pretty sad to have my most insecure thoughts about my body confirmed by the publicness and my husband, so I’m thinking about putting a Paypal thingy on my sidebar so people can donate money to FUCK THE OIL SPILL, BUY CRISSY SOME TITS so people stop calling my boobs small and saggy.

The End.

PS: If Mister thinks he’s going to see my small and saggies any time soon, he can take his micropenis and get lost.
PSS: He doesn’t really have a micropenis, but if he did, I wouldn’t put a picture of it on the Internet so everyone could laugh at him.
PSSS: Actually, I would just so he knows how it feels.
PSSSS: It’s a Toy with Me day today! It’s about Major Faux Pas In The Boudouir. Apropos, no?
PSSSSS: The next Ask Girlfriend is coming up and this time it’s on video! Get your questions in!

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40 comments

  1. No man, that was mean as shit! Especially since seeing that photo, I don’t get it at all – you seem to have pretty nice boobies. As a lady with a 36D I would LOVE to have me some 34A dainty little boobies that didn’t jump up and blacken my eyes when I’m late and running for the damn bus again or try to bust out of a bikini. Rock those little mounds of awesome. Maybe we could have a boobie share plan where I give some to you, you get a touch larger and I get smaller? That would be awesome.

    P.S. Despite this comment, I’m not even gay or into titties.
    .-= Vegetable Assassin’s last blog post… How To Be Unpopular Part One- Denounce Children =-.

  2. ok, i love your tits. i always have and i always will. i like them primarily because they’re attached to you, and secondarily because they fed my two wonderful children for the first years of their lives.

    the photo was favorited by ralph dietz, aka rdspencer, whose email address is from yahoo.de, which is a german domain name. i can only asume that he favorited the picture because he liked it. he also favorited this shot of you.

    ralph also invited the pictures to the group “small saggy boobs / durch.-hängende wackelnde Busen” which he administers.

    i saw ralph’s invite, and at first said, “WTF? crissy’s tits are neither small nor saggy!” however, once i checked out the group i quickly determined that very few of the other pictures in the group fit the name either. plus it wasn’t filled with nasty porn or kids or some other weirdness. so i added the two shots he specifically invited.

    at no point was anyone making fun or ridiculing. in fact, this whole mess is because people LIKE what they see in the picture and wanted to share it with others. i can’t talk with ralph because we don’t understand each other, but i can say that was true for me.

    despite what you might think about how insensitive i am, i DO see where you’re coming from. in fact, the name of the group has put off other people too… people with large firm breasts who were also invited to share. so you’re definitely not alone, and you’re definitely not crazy. like i said, the name threw me off at first too.

    i believe ralph doesn’t speak any english whatsoever, and just typed in some german words to an online translator, cut and pasted, and then never thought twice about it. to me it was just a misleading name for a group.

    i’m very, very sorry i hurt your feelings and that you felt humiliated by any part of it. that was never my intention, and i’m sure it wasn’t ralph’s either… as anyone can see from his favorites, he is just a lover of breasts.

  3. Don’t feel too bad Crissy, Lucy and Rose are 32AA…I buy my bras in the little girls section. Yes. It’s sad really. And about the names, I figured if men can name their penis, then I can name my boobs.
    .-= Rebecca’s last blog post… Everything is Squeaky =-.

  4. Wow, sounds like CP is really falling over himself. But still the wrong response, he should like them for what they are. In that pic they look pretty good. No, very good. Shame on him.
    .-= joeinvegas’s last blog post… Kodachrome =-.

  5. Might I suggest that European humor can be kind of different? And translation gadgets on the web: generally not a good idea. Although I can totally grasp the upset (because I think I would seriously contemplate handing my husband’s head to him if he ever did this because I have a quick-fire temper like that), I’ve seen very little but out-and-out devotion from CP. Photographers generally take photos of who and what they find lovely and from the photos I’ve looked through, CP’s primary targets are you and your children. I’m not saying that it was a good idea, but I will say that I get the impression he’s just very proud of showing you off and saying, “This gorgeous babe of a woman married ME!”

    Just my two cents, though. *Many hugs, tissues, and a bouquet of flowers* Crying at work sucks. >.<

  6. Crissy, I think many of the boob photos in that group look nice and are not saggy. I don’t think I care for most of the commenters, but that’s beside the point. Mister’s explanation seems plausible. Remember, he’s a guy.

    That said, I have humongous boobs, and wish that there were something I could do besides cosmetic surgery. They’re really quite out of proportion to the rest of my body, and if they are admired, I’m usually not aware of it. I feel overheated most of the time during the summer, and I blame the excess boobage. I’m trying to build up my shoulders to create some balance, but I’ve got a long way to go. I would say that they have not helped me in my life.
    .-= Helen’s last blog post… Thunder and Frightening Barrette =-.

  7. Not a good plan Mister. Take your time in the doghouse. I think any woman in the world would be pissed no matter the intentions. Sorry. BTW I will kill for boobs like that. Mine are bigger but after breast feeding that is NOT a good thing. Ugh gravity is a bitch. Be glad they are the smaller side. Still not small though. They will stay perkier that way.

  8. you need to kick your husband upside the head. is he for real?! first of all, so not cool, even if that were true. but it’s not true! i would kill for your boobs. omg. your boobs look pretty fabulous to me. and you’re a mom! even more fabulous.

  9. So theres another picture of you in that same bikini top and it looks a little wet and “cold”……… Well in that pic the girls look awesome.

  10. Crissy, I am German, born and raised, and speak it fluently. Durchhaengen means to sag. Wackelnd means wiggeling or shaking and Busen means boobs. Very strange group of pictures, most of them are nice boobs, small and not sagging at all. I don’t get it. And I think yours are beautiful and not saggy at all. And not small. Just perfect for your body.

  11. Hey what r u guys all about mister did a nice thing dont gang up on him your boobs are amazing i wish ………i yeah i just wish but most beautiful things are suppose to be shared he just shared it with you ppl the nicest boobs on planet to c i just wish he shares more and more

  12. I think your boobs are great too but somehow tons of people telling you that doesn’t add up to overcome the negative does it? Having something point out something you dislike about yourself, even if it isn’t true, feels pretty fucking shitty. If my husband added my pictures to a “Wiggly fat chicks” site even if he did it for nice reasons and even if many of the girls on it weren’t wiggly or fat…or even chicks for that matter, I’d be a big angry mess :/ But when it comes down to it, it’s more about how we feel about ourselves than what they did, guys just don’t understand
    .-= Melissa’s last blog post… Sunday Snippets a day late! =-.

  13. to those who at least attempted to see it from my point of view, my thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.

    to the rest: i wonder what you would say, what advice you would give, if i did something REALLY rotten?

    you know, like actually disrespected my wife (cheated on her, lied to her, was physically or verbally abusive to her, gave up on the marriage, ridiculed her hopes and dreams, etc).

    i don’t mind atoning for mistakes i’ve admitted to, but i can tell you this whole “withhold sex and teach him a lesson” thing isn’t love, and ends up doing a lot more harm than good.

  14. I am in complete agreement, so let’s change that slogan to “Buy Crissy and Kathleen some tits”.
    Off to start a non-profit to get sizeable donations. Wish me luck.

  15. Crissy

    Those boobs are perfect and I would dare say Mister would likely describe them as lickable ! If you want to perk them up for a night out.. check out an overbra. I have really itty bitties and even I get cleavage.

    Crissy’s Pimp..

    Says a lot about how you feel about your lady that you wanna show her off all over the place. Way to be proud.. she is smokin’ hot!

    Just those words like “saggy” or “chubby” make us feel insecure even if we know something was lost in translation from german.

  16. First,you look great.
    Second,I think the site name is to draw hits from the curious as it,has nothing to do with the content.

  17. I would seriously contemplate handing my husband’s head to him if he ever did this because I have a quick-fire temper like that), I’ve seen very little but out-and-out devotion from CP. Photographers generally take photos of who and what they find lovely and from the photos I’ve looked through, CP’s primary targets are you and your children. I’m not saying that it was a good idea, but I will say that I get the impression he’s just very proud of showing you off and saying, “This gorgeous babe of a woman married ME!”

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