The other day at work I got to meet Edward and Jacob and stupid annoying Bella!
They stopped by Schmuckytown Pubic because they knew that’s where I’d be.
Edward was very friendly and he kept telling me he really, really wanted to make out with me but he was afraid I’d hurt him because he heard I’m a pole dancer now and everyone knows they’re fucking badass (you see those bruises on my leg? That’s how tough I am now. I’m practically Chuck Norris), and I promised him I’d be gentle, but he remained steadfast in his decision and just stood there making his sexyface.
And then stupid Bella started gettin’ all up in my grill cuz I was touching her man on his naughtypenis and so I kicked her in the face
and moved on to her other man, Jacob.
He’s pretty cute, I think.
He’s more muscle-y than Edward, but I’m still on Team Edward and not so much Team Jacob mostly because vampires make me look tanned and werewolves do not.
See?
I’m downright exotic.
But even though I touched Edward on his naughtypenis and he was all “I’m in love with you, Crissy! Bella is an idiot!” I did stop because I honestly cannot understand why anyone would prefer Twilight to True Blood/Southern Vampire Mysteries (unless you’re in 6th grade and your parents won’t let you watch True Blood and then maybe I understand).
I think Eric and I make a better couple. I’ll take a 1,000 year old Viking GOD who owns a BAR over some silly high school boy and his Volvo any day.
(Note to Bill Compton: You can have Sookie. I got this.)
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i think the bruises are sexy, but you already know that.
true blood is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY hotter than that twilight drivel. there’s just too much high school in twilight, along with its attendant drama.
i’d rather have this:
http://ageplay.org/GI_5_support/images/mycons/posts/2009-07-02_true_blood.jpg
<- jealous. My inner 13 year old <3s Edward.
I’m reading The Passage. The vampires in that are not ones that are hot. I’m trying to decide if this is okay. I’m pretty sure it’s not.
Melissa Lion’s last blog post… Bowling-
Also, BRAD PITT IN INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE!
Melissa Lion’s last blog post… Bowling-
that’s an awesome ninja kick to bella’s stupid pouty face.
and one helluva grasp on edward’s naughtypenis.
but why are we all picking teams? i say we have one big vampire smorgasbord cuz who wants to choose and who the fuck says smorgasbord.
pattypunker’s last blog post… wtf work bathrooms
FINALLY! For once, I’m not jealous that I don’t live down the street from you so that I can stalk your life. Because I haven’t read one Twilight book nor seen any of the movies…
Edward? Blech. Jacob? Oh puh-leeez. Eric? Meh. Alcide? Oh yeah, give me some hot werewolf lovin’!
Dingo’s last blog post… La Loco Laundry
Oooooo Dingo is an Alcide fan! Makes sense on account of being a Dingo and everything.
I’ve read the books so my inner 13 year old girl comes out for Edward. I’m not all rushing over to see the movie though. I’ll wait for the actual 13 year old girls to get it out of their system. And yes, True Blood Rocks.
Wow Crissy….It looks like Jacob is grabbing your girly bits.
Rebecca’s last blog post… Summer of 2002
They are in twilight movies post was good because it had Urdu pictures and the pic Mister posted was the bestttt
Your pictures I meant
True Blood trumps Twilight ANY DAY. I even know this after seeing only two episodes of True Blood (HOOKED FOR LIFE or until the series is over) and never seeing Twilight.
I wish you had kicked Bella’s head off. Even I know she’s annoying and as previously mentioned, I haven’t seen the movies.
Marie’s last blog post… Posted Treasure
Love ‘True Blood’ so hard. Just read the latest book. Sigh.
grumpy’s last blog post… Grumpy Young Pussy ‘Received’ Loud and Clear
I think you’re a better height match for Edward, anyway. The perk is that you do look more tanned. I’m practically the palest person in the whole of Australia and I probably look tan next to Eddie.
I hope your ninja kick snapped Bella’s annoying face off. I hate that girl.
CuppyCakes’s last blog post… Come With Us To Candy Mountain- Charlie
Where do I find these lovely men?
k8’s last blog post… If you ask me- the party hostess gets a raw deal
i need to get me some hbo…
cathy’s last blog post… Post-It Note Tuesday
I’m not team Edward or Jacob.
I’m team Alice. =)
I’m with you. I’ve seen twilight and true blood and i prefer true blood WAY more. I’ve not missed an episode and Eric is delicious. I like him better with his short hair too!
I’ve never seen True Blood before, but I’ll prefer it over Twilight either way.