So I’m skulking around the Internet and I can’t help but notice how many people are writing these long emo Very Special Father’s Day edition posts about their fathers and babydaddies and I’m just like, really?
Am I supposed to cry? Because I don’t do mushy and sentimental, and I think all those cards they have over at the store are stoopid.
In fact, somebody should shit on Hallmark’s coat just because they’re so lame.
How about a card that says “Happy Fathers day to the guy who gave me life and an anxiety disorder.”
Or “Happy Father’s day, motherfucker!”
Or, if you live in my house, “Happy Father’s day, Daddy! Please wear pants.”
You want to hear my Very Special Father’s Day edition blog post?
Here goes.
Ahem…
I was going to give Mister a blow job for father’s day but he decided to go to a Melvins concert in Boston instead because my blow jobs aren’t better than the Melvins.
The end.
Oh, and the kids gave him new summer shoes so he can stop wearing crocs now, and a camera bag to replace the old cat hair covered duffle bag he’s been dragging around everywhere he goes and embarrassing the crap out of us.
So yeah. Happy belated Father’s Day to all you babydaddies out there. I hope you all got blow jobs or at least gifts that will make you less of an embarrassment to your families and no lame greeting cards.
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I’m with you, Crissy. I sent my Dad (who I barely speak to) an e-card out of obligation. I found the most neutral, non-sappy card that I could.
I’m willing to bet that Mister would probably still like the BJ, but now you can claim it was a limited time offer and he chose the Melvins… or something like that.
And there was no sentimental post over on MY blog. And all of the ones I DID read just made me ticked that my Dad has honestly never really been a fixture in my life and couldn’t get over his own BS enough to make it to my High School graduation like he PROMISED he would and yeah, it’s 20+ years later and I’m still bitter about it. At least the BS is over for another year. Hurray!
.-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… Should Be Shopping Sunday Post =-.
Sheesh, I didn’t even consider giving my babydaddy a BJ – does that make me a bad person? He did proposition me by saying “You wanna get with daddy on father’s day”? Nothing like bringing up my dad to get me in the mood- ugh!
Anyway, no sappy cards here, he got a coffee cup.
.-= chicken lips’s last blog post… facebook freaks me out =-.
Music over blowjobs? Well, he had his chance.
.-= k8′s last blog post… Calendars =-.
Now that’s a happy father’s day post ; )
Fucking love it!
.-= inannasstar’s last blog post… Magical Mondays – Litha =-.
i stopped buying cards for my shithead of a father when i realized i could buy an inexpensive gift online and just enter a gift message limited to few characters. but happy father’s day, motherfucker def works.
.-= pattypunker’s last blog post… happy summer (one week early. because i can’t wait. because i’m a child like that.) =-.
I’m a bad daughter because I didn’t post anything for father’s day. But I friggin’ love yours!
.-= Marie’s last blog post… Manual Shift =-.
We deserve a gift too. They wouldn’t be fathers if we didn’t push the children out.
for father’s day, i gave my boyfriend the gift of not becoming a father.
.-= Alice’s last blog post… don’t read this post if contact lens talk makes you squicky =-.
c’mon.
it’s the MELVINS for christ’s sake.
besides, according to my records you haven’t watched the educational video yet…
The best Father’s day thing I could come up with was just a plan old Happy Fathers Day…….your day is sucky because you suck.
.-= Rebecca’s last blog post… Chickens =-.
not plan….plain
.-= Rebecca’s last blog post… Chickens =-.
Ken said I should come pick up his present for him…
Oh, jeez. I am the lamest of all the lame daughters/wives. For my dad- a text stating, “Happy Fathers Day!”
For my babydaddy, a morning greeting of, “Happy Fathers Day” and some scrabled eggs. That was yesterday. Today is his birthday. His gift? “Happy Birthday.”
.-= The Sweetest’s last blog post… Opportunities Lost and Gained =-.
is this your way of getting flowers?
I love your attitude towards rewarding your husband. As to his preference of music over a BJ, that’s another matter entirely.
.-= Vajazzleville’s last blog post… Vajazzleville.com Buys Vajazzling.com =-.
Well I was very excited to see the title of the post I thought u were going to tell us how u gave him a bj in great detail but that’s ok I guess he likes music more and can someone please tell me how do I add my picture before my name ????????
Wow a BJ for a fathers day gift! I didn’t even get an offer. You, Chrissy are a great wife!
I love your blog BTW
~Dan
I love you, Crissy.
No BJ in the Smith household this FD. Oh the humanity.
It freaked me right out last night that Fancyhats was talking about a club that he used to go to that Ken went to too. They have man-love, I think.
.-= Melissa Lion’s last blog post… It’s Time for My Annual Popina Swimsuit Adventure! =-.
My daughter brought home a cold to share for Father’s Day. How lovely. So most of our plans went into the toilet. I was too sick to give a BJ and now my hub is too sick to get one!
snot makes great lube
I find myself confused over why Blowjobs and Music are mutually exclusive options.
.-= DarkTouch’s last blog post… Understanding the Weight of Goodbye =-.
check it out – not even a little emo because i totally agree with you. also? i didn’t even have to pretend to think about givin the hubs a bj cause he’s outta town! http://alittletoocrazytobecool.blogspot.com/2010/06/fathers-day.html