It’s Wednesday, motherbuckets!

So we bought this swingset for Homeslice and Girlfriend, right?

And it took us a long time to find just the right one for just the right price with just the right quality and we were very excited to show the picture to Girlfriend and what does she say, Queefies?

“It doesn’t have a lot of stuff to do.”

Um, excuse me?

There’s a playhouse with a fucking veranda, three swings, a rock wall,  a picnic table, a sandbox, and a slide.  It’s nicer than our house, really.

Maybe Mister and I will live out there instead because apparently, she wants Disney out in the yard and anything less is unacceptable.

Clearly,  Girlfriend is spoiled to death, so to toughen her up a bit, we’re not going to put mulch under the swingset/palace.  We’re gonna put rocks like we had when we were kids.  My swingset was made of metal and it had a couple of swings and some monkey bars and a trapeze and that was it. It was not made out of some nice non-splintery cedar with rounded edges.  There was no playhouse, picnic table, veranda, etc.,  and if we went too high on the swings, the back would come out of the ground and we spent entire afternoons trying to get the whole thing to flip over.  I think my brother actually did once.  I can’t remember.  And instead of this “playground grade mulch” we had rocks to land on and if you fell off the monkey bars because you were clowning around like a dumbass, you got fucking hurt and it was your own fault for being stupid and you learned not to be a dumbass anymore.

Kids today are soft.

And so we spent half a billionty monies on a swingset that we want more than Girlfriend does.  Homeslice is pretty excited about it, but she’s only just recently discovered how much fun a ball is, so you know.  She’s easily impressed at this point.

And it’s a Toy with Me day today!

Come find out why I’m wearing these ridiculous socks!  Surra de Bunda–Punched by an Ass


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  1. Oh my God! You’re totally going to do it in the playhouse. I LOVE IT! Please find me a man that wants to do that with me pleaseandthankyouverymuch.
    .-= k8’s last blog post… Family Reunion =-.

  2. I never had a swingset growing up. No Disney, no McMansion, no metal. Maybe you should just install the swingset for Homeslice and tell Girlfriend she can’t play on it if she can’t appreciate it. I’m sure that’ll last real long.

  3. i had one of those metal swingsets too! with the rusty bolts sticking out all over the place that would gouge parts of your flesh off when you ran too close to the set. ahhhh memories…
    .-= Alice’s last blog post… tidbits =-.

  4. I think I had more fun building the kids their play house penthouse than they did playing in it. Come to think of it I spent more time making it than they spent in it.

    Jean is right on. I’m sure Ken has a picture taken from a better angle. somewhere.

  5. Shit, screw when I was little. We have one of the metal swingsets in our yard right now, a neighbor left it when they moved so we went over and jacked it. My two year old is just getting comfortable swinging with his belly on the swing and his legs flying. But when I swing, I cannot go more than two feet without the two back legs of the whole set flying up off the ground!

    Loved your leg picture too! HOT! Miles and miles!
    .-= Summer’s last blog post… Child-free time =-.

  6. I really can’t blame Girlfriend. After all, that’s not a veranda. It’s a porch. Well, a balcony really. A veranda wraps all the way around the playhouse. This, well. This is just a balcony.

  7. We had one of those metal jobbies for a while too. I still have a scar on my belly from where the plastic cracked on the swing for two thing. My brother was being a jerk and shoved me and I scratched myself. Because I wasn’t soft and now I have a rocking scar. Or something.

    Then we got a fancy wood one, but it was NOT non-splintering with rounded corners. It had a monkey bars thing that my brother climbed on and dropped my cat off several times into the rocks below to see if she would always land on her feet. I think all five of us kids still have splinters from that playset….

  8. Good God Ken! That picture is so large you can see the DNA on the piece of hair that is on the floor. Not that I was looking.

  9. Yes sir the picture was reallyyyyy big and nice only problem was I was using my wife’s laptop soo had to rush you have got an amazing wife (great writing talent and even better legs) why don’t you write something on this blog review tenga flip hole maybe ??? that’s what I like to use when I fight my wife and that’s v often

  10. You kind of look like a stripper version of Rainbow Brite in those socks and that’s awsome. As for the swingset, I’m with you. Kids are totally pussied out and spoiled these days. We needed shots after playing on those rusty ass swing sets but we played on them anyway. We were thinking of adding some tacks to the stuff under our boys playset to keep things interesting and help them man up.
    .-= Sabreena’s last blog post… Happy Father’s Day to The Man I Chose =-.

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