Yesterday, in our hungover stupor, we noticed that Homeslice had climbed into the laundry basket. It was so adorable, and while we were standing there going “look how cute!” the basket flipped over and she landed right on her face.
Not. cute.
And there was blood and crying and drama and now she has a super fat lip.
And a pediatrician appointment this morning.
There’s a bruise on her leg I cannot explain, she’s got scratches all over her from scratching her itchy eczema, and she had a slight fever last night before bed.
Basically, Homeslice is a hot mess and it looks like we keep her in a bramble patch down by the river.
Also, it’s Girlfriend’s last day of preschool today. I can’t really think about it without crying, and I have pictures from graduation that I can’t show you yet but I will just as soon as they become available.
For now, I have to go do workouts before these bitches wake the fuck up and demand I take care of them, which I’m not that good at as it turns out.
I gained 5lbs last week! You have to work pretty hard to gain 5 lbs in a week.
Woot! Woot! I RULE!
Similar Posts:
- A Morning in the Life: A Chronological Tale
- Homeslice is crying
- Somebody kill me. Please kill me.
- A day in the life. OR why vodka is good for lunch.
- What the hell got into Kanye West last night? Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol…


5 lb in a week? Hell I gained 5 one night at dinner at the Colonnade in Atlanta. Southrin cookin’ can do that to you. It’s probably the salt. Ya, the salt, that’s gotta be it.
We hope that Homeslice is OK, and the doc appointment ain’t a great ordeal.
When my sister gained 5 lbs in a week… she was pregnant.
But Mister is “fixed,” so THAT’S ruled out.
Natballs’s last blog post… June The Second
When I was a baby my grandmother accidentally sent me sailing down the basement stairs in a laundry basket, so it happens. Laundry baskets should have warnings on them.
Antelope’s last blog post… How long does it take to fix a water treatment plant anyway?
We went to the Dairy festival in town this past Saturday. I put Emily in a stroller (it’s still to big for her) so she could go to sleep and Hayley and I could watch the parade. After everything was over we started to leave. I forgot to make sure she was buckled in and after a minute, she started to slip out through the leg hole. Fortunately, my husband saw and caught her just in time. Hayley started crying and yelling at me for almost killing Emily. We should start a Mothers of the Year club.
The first time I babysat my niece she fell off of the bed and headfirst into a laundry basket. I felt like the worst aunt ever, but she turned out all right. Mostly.
Perhaps you can disguise Homeslice’s injuries by letting her go crazy on her self with some magic markers?
saratogajean’s last blog post… She’s baaack!
Homeslice is a bad ass. That’s all the pediatrician needs to know. And Girlfriend will RULE kindergarten. You know she’ll love it. All that bossing people around and getting the boys to carry her backpack.
k8’s last blog post… Blogger Was Broken
TODAY IS ARCHIE’S LAST DAY TOO! I would like to cry as well. GOD WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE?!?
Melissa Lion’s last blog post… Landslide
Like CortGirl, I’ve gone off with the baby unlatched – but it was in the car. Yup, I forgot to latch her into the car seat. Wish I could say this only happened once.
We’ve forgotten to snap the carseat/stroller buckles, too. It’s a miracle any of our children are alive!
i nearly sent my dad to jail when i was about 4 because i’d ended up in the emergency room something like 3x in 6 months, and the final time the dr was like “alice, how did you hurt your arm?” and my dad goes “oh, she fell off th–” and the dr cut him off and said “no, i asked ALICE,” and turned back to me.
so i go, “um…. i fell off the bed… uh… RIGHT DAD?” which is apparently The Way You Know if a kid is being abused. awesome! i’m such a good kid.
Alice’s last blog post… hello! i suck at health.
i am uploading pictures as i type this.
i know, i’m slow. it’s unforgivable.
I’ve been told that the doctor’s look at lack of bruising as well as bruising. A healthy independant child should naturally have bumps and bruises gained through the course of play. If your child isn’t playing, do you have them locked up in their room bored?
DarkTouch’s last blog post… Strego for ICONS
Actually DarkTouch, our pediatrician said she’d be more concerned if there *weren’t* any bruises. You’re totally right.
Crissy’s last blog post… They may or may not take Homeslice away from us today
Did you hear Jillian is getting her own show, Crissy? Not to totally waylay your comments here, but I just heard it on the radio….
Crissy, you gained 5 lbs. of muscle, I’m sure of it.
Yeah, most of us survived the lack of car seats, right? Those things weren’t even invented until I was too old for them.