Hey Queefies!
The shoppings went very well yesterday. I didn’t know this, but my brother is a raging hormone. He got the shoe store girl’s phone number. It was…an experience to sort of have to stand back with Homeslice in the stroller while he worked his man-whore magic on the salesgirls of Schmuckytown. One girl asked if we were his wife and baby. After I swallowed the throw up in my mouth, I said we were his sister and niece after he answered her with a question: “does that turn you on?”
Oy. I was so embarrassed. My lady friends almost never do stuff like that.
Anyway, we decided that he’s going with college boy prep with a little skater thrown in for edgy-ness. And by “we” I mean the royal we because he wanted to go punk and I was all,”no.” The skater stuff was a compromise between the punk and the prep. I had my hands full because the boy had no idea what he was doing. I pulled out a pair of elastic-waisted grandpa shorts and he was like “I’ll try ‘em, whatever, you say,yo ”
And then I went through his closet and pulled out all the hideous. He had PLEATED FRONT PANTS in there, you guys. I took out all the polyester, including the bowling shirt with the blue flames on it and made him pinkie promise that he’d only be wearing natural fibers from now on. He had a black silk shirt and pants set that reminded me of The Velvet Fog episode of Seinfeld. We had a fight over the leather shirt. He insists it’s a “natural fiber” and therefore should be allowed to keep it. I might have to go in there when he’s not home and take it. Either that or I’m going to call my fantasy gay, Carson Kressley, to come and tell him what’s what. Have you ever seen him straighten somebody out? It’s a beautiful thing.
And then we went to the fridge and I pulled out the fucking Wonder bread and beat him with it.
So yes. He’s a work in progress but we got a good start, at least.
And now there’s a ton of shit for you guys to go read!
I wrote another toy review and did a video with Mister: We-vibe II review.
And there’s a contest to win one here!!! We-vibe II contest! I’d be proud-er than proud if one of my Queefies won it!
And I have a post going up today, too. I’ll get you that link when I have it.
UPDATE: here it is! My Husband Posted Pictures Of Me On A Porn Site. I Liked It.
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- How I Learned the Hard Way
- Crissy Seen it on the Tee-Vee and Now She Wants it.
- I’m Flippin’, I’m Floppin’, I’m Lovin’ Every Minute of it!
well, leather certainly isn’t SYNTHETIC, so he might have you on a technicality.
We need to do a little work in your closet too, my friend.
if by “work” you mean “get down and dirty on the floor” then yes, yes we do.
Leather is an appropriate natural material for footwear and purses ONLY.
Grandpa shorts – ugh!
twm post is up!
I enjoyed the TWM post – I had no idea that the Crissys have so much fun. When do you have the time??!! And Pimp, awesome shots as usual
Crissy, will you come make me over? Jillian Michaels is On Demand this month with her 30 day shred. So when I’m all skinny and sexy like you, will you come give me some style? Or maybe I can come out there for a week with you, a la What Not to Wear??
Testing, 123?
Woohoo! Comments are working again!
Hey, slim pleated pants for men are making a comeback. This is very good news for those of us who uncontrollably sport spontaneous erections, so don’t spoil it for me.
And what the fuck have you got against Wonder Bread? When you put two slices of Wonder Bread together, it’s like eating velvety cushions of pussy made of cotton candy, lips and all! I’m just saying that if you’re going to eat PB&J on healthy bread, you might as well eat a buttsausage melt on a low salt Triscuit.
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