So here’s what I was thinking about when I buttered my toothbrush with face wash this morning

What if we try to trade Girlfriend the bunny for something else like…a dog.  Dogs are way less work than bunnies and I don’t have to defend a dog against a cat, a dog, an infant, and a five-year-old, and she’d probably take the trade and I can’t deal with the heartbreak when we have to give the bunny away and she’s going to cry to death and holy shit I have a ton of crap to do this morning before work somebody kill me. Why are so many people suddenly following me on Twitter?  I wonder what’s going on.  I’m always the last to know.  I have to hang clothes out on the line somehow and how does one gain three pounds overnight?  Another dog wouldn’t be bad and Alice would have company but it has to be a smallish non-shedding housebroken dog who likes cats, dogs, babies and kids.  What are the chances of finding all of that in one dog? Not too good. A puppy would be better but I can’t handle a puppy right now.  I already clean up shit from the cat and the dog and the baby and wipe Girlfriend’s ass and I’ll bring it up to Mister and see what he thinks.  Work is going to be boring tonight HOLY SHIT WHY IS MY MOUTH BURNING?

Toy with Me today!  Wild Things: Animals are Pretty Kinky.

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19 comments

  1. You’re already giving up on the bunny? How ’bout you give it back to Mister’s parents and tell Girlfriend that the bunny lives THERE and she can go there ANYTIME SHE WANTS by calling them and insisting that they pick her up and take her to visitation. Just wondering.
    .-= k8’s last blog post… Land Of The Living =-.

  2. OR how about the bunny just “runs away” in the middle of the night…

    The cost? nothing
    The cleanup? nothing
    The crying? going to happen anyway

    Having a solution that costs nothing and blames all bad behavior on the bunny? PRICELESS!

  3. I like K8’s idea. It’s win-win for you – bunny stays in GF’s life and you get some alone time when grandparents have GF (and of course they won’t be able to resist having time with HS too).

    Do you ever feel like your whole day is poop? Feeding things stuff so that they can process it out and then you clean up the poop. Just to do it all over again. It’s how I felt even BEFORE the baby (cuz of the dogs and cats). Who thought a grown woman would spend so much time in their day dealing with things that turn into poop and then the poop itself. I wonder how many years of my life are wasted on POOP!

  4. You could go out and have someone pull a scene from Fatal Attraction (you know, where the bunny ends up stewing on the stove). No? Too much?

  5. Okay, to everyone who thinks the bunny should go live with the people who were irresponsible enough to buy a pet for someone without permission, my answer is hell to the n-o. And it’s not my in-laws. They’d never do that. It’s my dad and stepmother. They’re not such a good home for the bunny. Trust me.

  6. And I’m not giving up on the bunny. The bunny just doesn’t belong here. I have to defend it against the dog, the baby, the cat, and Girlfriend and it’s not like it will ever be big enough and strong enough to defend itself. I will ALWAYS have to watch it closely and protect it from the 4 predators that live in this house.

  7. I am with you on ousting the bunny. They are cute but they do not make great pets. We had 3 when I was little and they ate the curtains and shit EVERYWHERE. Should yo go the route of a new dog I suggest a Boston Terrier. They are cute, small, energetic, and according to my hair stylist great with kids. Good luck with operation bunny eviction.
    .-= Sabreena’s last blog post… 2 Cent Tuesdays: Making Fame out of Nothing At All =-.

  8. You know, I do that too..think of random shit while in the shower. I sometimes don’t self-edit, and have been known to walk up to bosses, acquaintances (sp??), etc and say “Hey…I was thinking about you in the shower this morning……” and somehow it doesn’t come out quite like I meant it too.

    And like you, I can have one quiet second an think of twenty billionty things in practically one thought! It’s exhausting!

    As far as Little Bunny Foo Foo? I got NOTHIN’ for you, Sista! I feel your pain. Can’t rabbit’s be litter trained? Maybe that’s pigs……I’d have to google it, and if I google, it will lead to other random questions that rattle in my brain and I’d google THOSE and never get any work done.

    Can someone google what animals can be litter trained and let me and Crissy know?? THANKS!! ‘Preciate it!

  9. How about you replace the bunny with something that requires less care than a dog, like a cat or, even better, a Zhu Zhu Pet or a robot? (As far as robots go, I would take a look at Roxxxy and Rocky at truecompanion.com.)

    Does this mean rabbit stew? Because who wants your used bunny, right?
    .-= stoogepie’s last blog post… Great Stories of the Bible 4 =-.

  10. How about you give up your bunny, send Girlfriend to my house to walk the dog, where she will then see tons of city bunnies, too. Then you’re happy (no more bunny), I’m happy (someone else is walking my dog) and Girlfriend is happy (she’s got 40 bunnies instead of only 1).
    .-= Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks’s last blog post… Productive =-.

  11. You want to give bunny away…..and buy her an expensive toy. Forget another dog. Dogs are difficult to take care of….maybe another cat, but no other animal in the house……….Bribe the kid with a toy
    .-= Rebecca’s last blog post… Nobody Asked Me, But…. =-.

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