The Bunny Chronicles

So we’ve had the bunny for almost a week now.

_MG_8754-88

I’m sure there are more pictures of it than this, but Mister hasn’t uploaded them to Flickr yet.

We don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy.  We thought it was a girl, but Michele knows all about bunnies and she gave it a good look and said “we may have some boyness happening here.  Jury’s still out” and so it might be a boy bunny and not a Sally bunny at all.

I want to name it Elliot, Linus, or Tobias or Fabian.  Mister wants to name it Wayne, and  Girlfriend wants to name it Sparkle Sparkle Butterfly Sparkle.  Clearly, she thinks the bunny is a total twink and that’s fine with me because this is probably the closest I’ll ever come to having a sparkly boy bff.

Boy bunnies are kind of effeminate when you think about it anyway.  Richard thinks the hyper-sexual behavior of bunnies is just overcompensation for their inherent fluffy twinkishness.

We tackle all the important issues at our dinner parties, obviously.

Maybe we’ll name it all three names–Elliot Sparkle Sparkle Butterfly Sparkle Wayne.

Or something.

Cleaning the cage for the first time was a circus.  There was poop and hay and wood shaving stuff all over the floor, the bunny was hopping and pooping all over the place while Alice followed it around, flipping it’s butt in the air trying to get a good sniff, while Girlfriend chased them around hopping like a bunny and barking like a dog.

I totally lost track of Homeslice, but at least I remembered to close the gates on the stairs so the only danger left for her was coming across bunny poop and eating it which is exactly what happened.

Once I got the bunny back in the cage, I went looking for her and she had just popped a poop in her mouth and I was all “what are you chewing?” and she giggled at me and donchaknow, it was bunny shit.

Nice.

I am The Mother of the Year.  What you’ve heard is true.

PS: It was Mister’s birthday yesterday. On Friday I made an angel food cake that came out wonderfully, but everyone knows that’s not real cake. And then yesterday his sister made a cake from scratch and it came out perfectly.  I’m packing my bags as we speak.  I wonder if Julianne Moore is waiting for me on the other side…?

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28 comments

  1. Im a chef, and I have a hard time with baked goods too…. so don’t feel too bad. I just don’t know what my problem is, I can measure the crap out of the ingredients, and make sure the water is hot for the yeast, but I just cannot replicate anything I learn in school. And I have a loooong list of the best recipes I learned from school. Including dinner rolls and mocha cheesecake. Which were the easiest ones.

  2. My mom tells the story all the time about how one time she was really stressed and the dog was barking and she locked it in the basement and like 20 minutes later remembered that I (8 months old) was down there too, and when she came down the dog had my diaper in her mouth and I had a piece of the dog’s poop in mine.

    I turned out fine. Mostly.
    .-= Antelope’s last blog post… Do I use the word random too much? =-.

  3. I vote for Fabian…or Leslie…that way it doesn’t matter what sex it is.

    but maybe Sparkle Sparkle Butterfly Sparkle covers it too…

  4. No Way is it OK to give a kid a pet without checking with the parents..WTF??
    It is really cute now but when it gets older you can accidentally leave it in the yard for the pteradactyl-sized hawks to get.

    That what I’m gonna do with my mother….

    (Hey!..Don’t judge me!.. A nursing home is just a money hole!…)

  5. Did you know you can litter train a bunny??? I did that with the two I had. They would hop around the house sometimes for fun and we’d set out the litter box and when they had to poo they would (usually) poo in the litter box.
    Oh, and my sister told me she will read your comments looking for mine. HI, WHITNEY!!!!!!
    .-= Natballs’s last blog post… Pulled Out Of Retirement =-.

  6. Hi Whitney!
    I’m trying to litter train it, but it’s really young and besides, how do you tell a bunny that it has to poop OVER HERE? Help me.

  7. Oh my god…I can just imagine the kind of grin Homeslice gave you when you found her with poop! Kids will stick anything in their mouths! Glad to hear your cake turned out good. I haven’t tried to make angel food cake yet. I’m intimidated by it. Happy late Birthday Mister!

  8. hey, you forgot to mention the installation of the clothesline!

    on my birthday, no less.

    a pic of the bunny (and girlfriend):

    _MG_8804-28 (by k.a. gilbert)

    a pic of the angel food cake:

    _MG_8785-9 (by k.a. gilbert)

    delicious!

    ps. thanks for the play through last week.

  9. Haha, I think it’s funny when children eat things off the floor. My son never did, so I suppose that’s why I think it’s amusing
    .-= Mystern’s last blog post… Now =-.

  10. That cake looks terrific, Girlfriend looks exactly like Crissy (beautiful), Happy B’day Mister, we need a picture of Homeslice!

  11. all i could think of with the name sparkle sparkle butterfly sparkle is what a great idea for vajazzling. but not for the bunny, for me.

    amazing photos! the girls are beautiful.

  12. Crissy, this will get you points in Mommy Martyr Heaven. One upside to keep in mind about having a bunny, is that bunny poop is probably excellent fertilizer.

  13. Yes–litter box training! I had a lop-eared rabbit for almost ten years. Just like cats, rabbits figure out fairly quickly what the box is for. If Sparkle Sparkle (etc.) has a favorite poopy corner in the cage, put a box there. Aside from a few strays here and there, and if the kids/dog/whomever don’t squeeze/scare him into having accidents, he should soon begin to use the box exclusively.
    .-= Heidi Renée’s last blog post… There’s nothing like a public shaming to motivate a fatty. =-.

  14. Sparkle Sparkle Whatever DOES almost exclusively poop and pee in a little ceramic carrot dish in its cage. Is this encouraging news? It doesn’t go potty in its bed or food dish, but it does go on the cage floor and of course on my living room rug. Can I look forward to a day when it can roam free without shitting all over my house, bunny Queefs?
    .-= Crissy’s last blog post… The Bunny Chronicles =-.

  15. What Heidi Renée said… there will occasionally be stray poos cuz bunnies poo…. A LOT!

    While I would not ENCOURAGE a bunny poo diet for Ms. Homeslice, I don’t think one bunny poo is worrisome. Ummm, it’s vegetarian and organic, so there’s that, right?
    .-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… Sunday Catch-Up Post =-.

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