I have nothing for you except some updates and you’re going to love it because I have nothing for you except some updates.

So my friend Jessica, who is a pastry genius (seriously, she along with my other friend Valerie sent me a chocolate balsamic cheesecake for my birthday last year and it was to die for. You can check out Jessica’s goodies here) said that what I needed to do was to pipe some frosting around the outside edge of the bottom cake layer to make like a frosting wall thingy so that when I frosted the top, it would hold the splooshy stuff in.


This is excellent news because Mister’s real birthday is this coming Sunday and so I get another chance to fuck it up in some other way. I’m very excited, so be sure to look for another fascinating cake update next week.

I might not do lemon buttercream layer cake this time though. I might do something daring like…an unfrosted vanilla sheet cake. Maybe I’ll let Girlfriend toss a few sprinkles on there to make it fancy.

Aaaaaand let’s see…Princess Twattington is up to her old tricks but I avoided the whole mess and ate at my desk like I said I would. Also, I may or may not be coming down with a cold and so I may or may not have licked the rim of her coffee cup.

Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.

Maybe I should be win an award for being the most passive aggressive person ever.

Oh, and I’m probably going to be fired pretty soon because I write about work sometimes, and I didn’t know this until a couple of people emailed me about it, but this here little blog has been written about in a real book about libraries and librarians:

It’s getting a lot of buzz and I even saw an interview with the author on Salon.com, and there’s a copy of it sitting on my boss’s desk right now, so yeah. It’s only a matter of time. I’m on page 64 in the section about poop.

I’m very proud, obviously.

And in other, more dangerous news, I think my Fed Ex guy hates me. Or my mail. Or me AND my mail because yesterday I got a package that I ordered eons ago and it was kind of fucked up. It was in a new box with a filthy scrap of the old box taped onto it. It was so damaged that you couldn’t even read my address anymore, but somebody knew where it was going because it got to me. Somebody purposely beat the hell out of my box of baby clothes from Kohl’s in an attempt to send me a warning.

I’m next probably.

This is why I prefer UPS. The delivery guy’s knees look cute in the summer uniform and nobody that cute would ever kick a mommy librarian blogger’s ass.

PS: Remember that scene from The Jerk? “It’s these CANS! HE HATES THESE CANS!!”

PSS: We have a new pet! My dad and stepmother got Girlfriend a baby bunny without my permission! Yay! (makes a gun with her hand, shoots herself in the head) Let me introduce to you the newest member of the Crissy family, Sally the Baby Bunny:
Stop laughing at me, you motherfuckers.

PSSS: It’s a Toy with Me day today. It’s all about Japanese toilet rituals because it is. Flush Your Husband Down the Toilet!

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  1. um…I think that looks like a pet that belongs at Grandma & Grandpa’s house ready to VISIT at any time. THAT is the ver definition of jackassery.

    Hopefully this will not cause a love triangle between your groundhog, Alice and Sally…that might be too much to bear!

  2. Are you going to have the neighbor boy build you a bunny cage with tons of nails or is Mister going to build a bunny super castle with his ninja building skills?

  3. omg you’re right! ups guys have the best knees. love those brown delivery shorts. love watching them drop off and love watching them hustle back to the truck.

    that bunny is cute but the nerve! i think they deserve a vacation. to newark, nj.

    congrats on getting mentioned in the book.!
    .-= patty punker’s last blog post… happy easter a la patty punker =-.

  4. You should totally get a cut of that book. I mean, seriously it’s hard to make posts about poop interesting enough to get published.

    BTW, unsupervised rabbits like to chew power cords, just an FYI.

  5. Congratulations on being mentioned in the book! I think it is unlikely that your boss will read the book and visit the sites in the poop section, even if your website also happens to be your name. Still, you might want to write a very flattering post about your boss tomorrow and maybe go back and edit all the posts where you talk about what a ruthless, humorless, alcoholic skank she is.

    I love the the bunny. He is very cute. I think it was a very thoughtful surprise gift. You should collect the little rabbit shit pellets and, to show your appreciation, make grandma and grandma some nice beaded jewelry.
    .-= stoogepie’s last blog post… Great Stories of the Bible 4 =-.

  6. Hey Crissy, I’ve had a bunny. If you need some advice, shoot me an email. Sally is awfully darn cute.

    Let’s hope Sally and Big Pussy don’t have an affair like our Greg the Bunny and Willow the Cat did… it was an epic romance!
    .-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… At least I’m busy… =-.

  7. i used to have a bunny rabbit when i was a kid

    then one day it disappeared

    my parents told me it escaped and ran away

    years later, they told me that one of the cooks had made a meal of it…

  8. Maxie – can I have some of your cash-mailing friends??

    Crissy – that bunny IS adorable but who buys a live animal for a child without checking with the parents first?! That’s ridiculous.
    Oh and congrats on the book, but how on earth can they add you without telling you? Strange.
    .-= Ask Alice’s last blog post… It’ll Be A Work Of (Interpretive) Art =-.

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