There’s a leak in the boiler room

I’d sell your heart to the junkman baby
For a buck, for a buck
If you’re looking for someone
To pull you out of that ditch
You’re out of luck, you’re out of luck

The ship is sinking
The ship is sinking
The ship is sinking
There’s leak, there’s leak,
In the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves, and lawyers

God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business. Business.
God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business. Business.

Digging up the dead with
A shovel and a pick
It’s a job, it’s a job
Bloody moon rising with
A plague and a flood
Join the mob, join the mob
It’s all over, it’s all over, it’s all over
There’s a leak, there’s a leak,
In the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves, and lawyers
God’s away, God’s away, God’s away
On Business. Business.
God’s away, God’s away,
On Business. Business.

Goddamn there’s always such
A big temptation
To be good, To be good
There’s always free cheddar in
A mousetrap, baby
It’s a deal, it’s a deal
God’s away, God’s away, God’s away
On Business. Business.
God’s away, God’s away, God’s away
On Business. Business.
I narrow my eyes like a coin slot baby,
Let her ring, let her ring
God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business.
Business…

And those are the lyrics to Girlfriend’s favorite song.  It’s by Tom Waits.  I’d like to thank my father-in-law for playing it for her and singing it to her.  He thinks he’s hilarious, you know.  She busted out with that one when she was about 2 1/2 and we were at Target standing in an aisle with two elderly nuns.

EDIT BY THE PIMP: here’s the song…

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She was all “God’s away, God’s away, God’s away on business!”

Luckily, I think they were deaf so it’s completely fine.

I love random playback of inappropriateness at inappropriate times though, don’t you?

The song is going through my head because this morning, we do, in fact, have a leak in the boiler room and I have to survive the morning with no water because we had to shut it off so as not to flood the house.  My father-in-law, being the great dad that he is, will be coming over this afternoon to help Mister fix the broken water pipe and will without a doubt, be singing in chorus with Girlfriend about a leak in the boiler room the entire time. I need to brush up on the lyrics so I can join in.

Also, any work people reading this, it’s my official calling in.  I won’t be at work tonight because somebody has to watch the kids while they fix the leak.  Don’t any of you say you can’t phone it in on your blog because I totally just did.

Suck it, bitches.

And Homeslice was awake all night with teething pain and the Monkey Pig Typhoid Cold Flu.  I might take her to the doctor’s.  I’m debating.  And I was feeling much better after my Monkey Pig Typhoid Cold Flu but I’m getting re-sick.  My hair hurts again and I have a sore throat.  I blame Homeslice and all her snots.

There’s baby snots in my hair right now, fyi.  I just had it blonded, too.  It looks awesome even with the snot.

And I got Lady Days finally and it’s beastly.

It’s pretty much Armageddon here as far as I’m concerned.

So I will spend the morning baking 32 festive green mini cupcakes for Girlfriend’s St. Patrick’s day thing at school with no water for clean ups.

Sa-weet!

So yes.

The universe woke me up with great big “HAPPY MONDAY, FUCKFACE!”

PS: I don’t know why the formatting is all shaquaed up there.  It’s the least of my problems today.

PSS: I don’t mean this to be complain-y.  I’m just sharing with you what it’s like to be Queen.  It ain’t all glamor and midget porn, you know.

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14 comments

  1. Monday fucking SUCK. I hate them. I woke up thinking my water had broken…turns out, the little ninja decided my bladder was in her way. Awesome.

  2. aren’t you still breastfeeding? My OB told me that as long as I still breastfeed, my Lady Days will be ALLL out of whack. So there’s that upside to breastfeeding that no one tells you about….

    Good luck with the boiler. I’m back at work, so Monday’s suck again for me too, but at least I had hot water this morning.

  3. Add to all of the above that we went to the doctor’s and both kids have ear infections. And I fell down the stairs while carrying the baby. But the pipe is fixed and we have water now, so that’s nice.

  4. Crissy, thank you for the Tom Waits…..I didn’t know this song, and it’s great! My hysterectomy is all done and over with, and I don’t have to have any more Lady Days, and I couldn’t be more thrilled! And I didn’t have any cancer, so I got to hang onto my ovaries, so I don’t have to have The Menopauses right away! Woohoo, and they took out 651 grams worth of fibroids, that’s about a pound and a half! No wonder I couldn’t get a flat stomach no matter what I did.

  5. Tom Waits. Been a fan for years. We here are into Rammstein at the minute – German heavy metal. Heavy metal is not usually a music of choice, here, but there’s something about Rammstein that hits the mark. My three year old daughter loves them, and can count from one to ten in German (into to Sonne), so you see, not only dark and scary, but also educational. My wife insists on undoing my hard work by inflicting Abba and Cheryl Cole on the child. How cold.
    .-= Philip Smith’s last blog post… The secret to a happy life is… =-.

  6. We were driving back from Cali recently and that song “Damaged” came on and my son proceeded to sing “My heart is sandwich, sandwich, sandwich”. Not quite as funny as singing God’s away on business to nuns but we got a kick out of it. Kids are fun. I would like to teach mine to insult people for me in public.
    .-= Sabreena’s last blog post… Getting to Know You Sunday (on Monday) =-.

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