This morning I had some sort of lunatic idea that we’d go do our Target run BEFORE school.
I don’t know what I was thinking.
I actually could have made it, but it would have been rushed, and I kind of like to take my time at Target. I like it sort of slow and thorough, like a good lover. So I’m actually writing a blog post instead of sitting here eating cookies until it’s time to leave. I ate two before I realized I needed to find something else to do.
Homeslice is actually occupied right now.
Cheerios have changed my life, you guys. For realz.
I’m going to go make Sexy Time with Target after I drop Girlfriend off at school.
Maybe that’s why we don’t have that Volvo. I do Sexy Time with Target too much. Maybe I’ll have to start my campaign soon. Mister will be getting The Hummers so I can get The Volvo. My question is how many Hummers do you guys think it takes to equal a Volvo?
I don’t want to get screwed in this deal.
See what I did there? Screwed? Sexy Time? Hummers?
That’s why I’m the Queen.
Anyhoodle, I checked my facebook this morning and some nice person (you know who you are) has informed me that DOOSH IS GETTING HER OWN HGTV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I so, so, so need to have The Crissy Show.
Please leave your comments containing outrage and incredulousness below. Try to include the words “Dooce sucks” if you can. It’s awesome for my stats. Doocebags apparently have nothing better to do than sit around googling “Dooce sucks” and then insulting the blogger who dared utter it.
I like to play this game every once in a while and then see my statistics spike up for a couple of days.
Aaaaannnnndddd we’re done here. Cheerios, while wonderful, sadly don’t contain a sedative. (mental note to self: write to the Cheerios people and suggest frosting Cheerios with Valium. This is brilliant. This will get me on Oprah for sure, proving that Doosh isn’t so special after all. I’m specialer. Like, way.)