Wow! A MONDAY post? This shit hasn’t happened in like, a long time but good news you guys! Homeslice has discovered finger food. This means we are at the point where I can toss a handfull of Cheerios at her and have fucking quiet for like, five minutes.
We had a super productive weekend as Mister made a bookcase for Homeslice, and it’s fucking adorable, and then he re-caulked our shower and waxed the shower doors so he wouldn’t have to hear me bitch about cleaning them for a couple of weeks.
You’re about dying from excitement right now, aren’t you?
I know, I know. This is why I’m the QOFE and you’re not. You suck a little bit. Sorry.
And Homeslice worked really hard on her crawling all weekend, but I’m sorry to report that instead of going forward she just goes backward and gets really pissed that the thing she was crawling for keeps getting further away and so she crawls backward and cries. Either that or she’s just like, “fuck it” and tries to get up and walk by getting into a downward dog position and then falling on her face when she tries to stand.
And then Girlfriend gets involved and tries to help which only pisses her off more. And then Alice comes over and frenches her and well, the poor thing.
And perhaps the biggest news is that we signed Girlfriend up for public Kindergarten:
I look like somebody’s mother, right?
It was a little bit sad, and I’m a little nervous about the public school thing. The publicness frightens me. Homeslice was totally unconcerned. She thought I was being silly, so she took a nap.
She’s not very supportive.
The kinks aren’t totally worked out with the new theme and everything, and so I’m going to stop writing now because it’s pissing me off. It keeps eating my words. Anyway, Happy Monday Queefies! May you ride to work on the back of a unicorn that smells of roses and shits rainbows and ice cream because what else would a unicorn shit?