Monday, Monday, Monday.

Wow! A MONDAY post? This shit hasn’t happened in like, a long time but good news you guys! Homeslice has discovered finger food. This means we are at the point where I can toss a handfull of Cheerios at her and have fucking quiet for like, five minutes.


We had a super productive weekend as Mister made a bookcase for Homeslice, and it’s fucking adorable, and then he re-caulked our shower and waxed the shower doors so he wouldn’t have to hear me bitch about cleaning them for a couple of weeks.

You’re about dying from excitement right now, aren’t you?

I know, I know. This is why I’m the QOFE and you’re not. You suck a little bit. Sorry.

And Homeslice worked really hard on her crawling all weekend, but I’m sorry to report that instead of going forward she just goes backward and gets really pissed that the thing she was crawling for keeps getting further away and so she crawls backward and cries. Either that or she’s just like, “fuck it” and tries to get up and walk by getting into a downward dog position and then falling on her face when she tries to stand.

It’s…a process.

And then Girlfriend gets involved and tries to help which only pisses her off more. And then Alice comes over and frenches her and well, the poor thing.

And perhaps the biggest news is that we signed Girlfriend up for public Kindergarten:



I look like somebody’s mother, right?

It was a little bit sad, and I’m a little nervous about the public school thing. The publicness frightens me. Homeslice was totally unconcerned. She thought I was being silly, so she took a nap.


She’s not very supportive.

The kinks aren’t totally worked out with the new theme and everything, and so I’m going to stop writing now because it’s pissing me off. It keeps eating my words. Anyway, Happy Monday Queefies! May you ride to work on the back of a unicorn that smells of roses and shits rainbows and ice cream because what else would a unicorn shit?

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  1. the one thing that DIDN’T happen over the weekend was a blowjob. come to think of it, i didn’t get a steak either.

    that volvo is looking like a very hazy, very tiny spot on the distant horizon…

  2. hey, i LOVE the new look!

    and rich got a blow job and a steak last weekend! you’d better get on it, woman, that volvo won’t buy itself! (i thought i should take mister’s side just once. okay. done and done.)

  3. Don’t worry about the public crap. My daughter made it out fine. She’s in college now so they must do something right there. And to Mister, Mister, while I’m traveling around the country beating people up on behalf of Crissy I will stop by and give you the BJ. It’s the least I can do since Crissy keeps me laughing and living and blah blah blah

  4. Next winter we should all just make a blogger pact where we all decide to fuck off until it’s warm and bright and life is good again. Seeing everyone else in snowjackets and misery like me isn’t helping matters. Can we? Can we?
    .-= Ben’s last blog post… Let Uncle Ben get you laid =-.

  5. I wish my husband was like Mister and would re-caulk things. We’re renting though, so it’s a little too much effort for something we don’t own. Girlfriend will do amazing in public school. You shouldn’t worry, it’s really not as bad as some people think. And how is it, that you manage to rock the winter parka when the rest of us look like huge heffalumps?

  6. Girlfriend will do fine in public school, especially if you stay involved. My boys went to public school and are both in graduate school now.
    What did you use to wax the shower doors with? I’ve been considering doing that because cleaning them is such a pain. I squeegee the entire shower after I use it, which is also a pain but less so than cleaning it.

  7. We recently moved out of a district with GANGS!! Guns, violence, fights, real bad stuff!

    We are now in a much better district and hopefully it stays good. It’s a year round district so my daughter will start kindergarten in July. . . .I have to admit, it makes me weepy. The first milestone that has done that to me!
    .-= Rebecca’s last blog post… Saturday School =-.

  8. NO really, I have pretty much girlfriend’s scarf that I crocheted myself. They call it my “boa” at work since I wear it instead of freeeeeeeeeezing to death all day long.

  9. my bff’s first child crawled backwards all the time too!! She would get herself stuck in a corner and then cry bloody murder – as if she wasn’t the one who got herself stuck there by not crawling forwards!

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