I’m very glad the whole shebang is done, to be honest with you. I never thought I’d say that, but it’s true.
Remember when you were a kid and the holidays were really fun because they just seemed to happen and it was all good and you couldn’t understand why your mother always said she hated fucking Christmas and why she went to bed early on New Year’s Eve and you thought it was because she was just kind of lame and bitchy?
I know why, Queefies. Your mom’s not lame and bitchy (well, she might be, I don’t know your mom. Hey, don’t get mad. Statistically speaking at least some of you have to have a lame and bitchy mom. It’s called MATH, you guys, so don’t yell at me because your mom sucks). Her pissy attitude during the holidays is because Christmas and New Year’s comes out of her ass. She makes it all happen for everyone at the expense of her physical and mental health. I know this. I’ve known this for about 4 years now, and I know it even better now that I had two kids to pull it off for this year.
But I’m still looking forward to next year. I know. I must secretly love having my ass kicked for a month solid.
Anywho, I have no real New Year’s resolutions other than to stop buying long sleeved solid color cotton scoop neck tee shirts and start buying something a little more interesting, like maybe long sleeved solid color cotton scoop neck sweaters. That’s pretty much all the challenge I’m up for right now. I think I can do it because I stocked up on them last week. It should hold me until next year. Unless I come across a killer sale. Then we’re gonna have some problems I think. I’ll call my therapist. She’ll know what to do. I’m sure she’ll be willing to interrupt a session with someone else to talk me down at Target.
Also, I’m resolving to eat more organic stuff. It’s something I do already anyway, so yeah. Not much of a challenge there.
I guess my resolution is to not challenge myself. Survival is challenge enough for me at the moment, thank you very much.
In other news, I actually made it until midnight on New Year’s Eve. It was a bloody miracle.
And I got bangs.