Thank Jeebus it’s over, right?

I’m very glad the whole shebang is done, to be honest with you.  I never thought I’d say that, but it’s true.

Remember when you were a kid and the holidays were really fun because they just seemed to happen and it was all good and you couldn’t understand why your mother always said she hated fucking Christmas and why she went to bed early on New Year’s Eve and you thought it was because she was just kind of lame and bitchy?

I know why, Queefies.  Your mom’s not lame and bitchy (well, she might be, I don’t know your mom.  Hey, don’t get mad.  Statistically speaking at least some of you have to have a lame and bitchy mom.  It’s called MATH, you guys, so don’t yell at me because your mom sucks). Her pissy attitude during the holidays is because Christmas and New Year’s comes out of her ass.  She makes it all happen for everyone at the expense of her physical and mental health.  I know this.  I’ve known this for about 4 years now, and I know it even better now that I had two kids to pull it off for this year.

But I’m still looking forward to next year.  I know.  I must secretly love having my ass kicked for a month solid.

Anywho, I have no real New Year’s resolutions other than to stop buying long sleeved solid color cotton scoop neck tee shirts and start buying something a little more interesting, like maybe long sleeved solid color cotton scoop neck sweaters.  That’s pretty much all the challenge I’m up for right now.  I think I can do it because I stocked up on them last week.  It should hold me until next year.  Unless I come across a killer sale.  Then we’re gonna have some problems I think.  I’ll call my therapist.  She’ll know what to do.  I’m sure she’ll be willing to interrupt a session with someone else to talk me down at Target.

Also, I’m resolving to eat more organic stuff.  It’s something I do already anyway, so yeah.  Not much of a challenge there.

I guess my resolution is to not challenge myself.  Survival is challenge enough for me at the moment, thank you very much.

In other news, I actually made it until midnight on New Year’s Eve. It was a bloody miracle.

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And I got bangs.

The end.

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30 comments

  1. Did you go red?
    For the last few years (since my second daughter was old enough to care about more than eating the wrapping paper) I’ve said the holidays are like a wedding. You spend months planning and strategizing and shopping. You build expectations and visualize perfection. Then it’s all over in an hour and, of course, never anything like you pictured. What else is there to do but get stinking drunk on New Year’s eve?!?! Happy New Year Crissy, Pimp, and girls!

  2. Didn’t make it til Midnight. Apparently I am someone’s lame and bitchy mother.

    Who knew 25 years ago that I’d be someone’s lame MOM? Seriously. I was a hot litle number with big boobs, a round bootie and a teensey little waist.

    Today, I’m fat and lame and someone’s bitchy mom and nagging wife.

    HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

  3. Bangs! Bangs! Bangs! Me too! And I made it until midnight, but I was home, in my slippers and robe. I lasted until 11 at the Par-tay. i.e. Bingo with the drunks.

    And I resolved to eat more organic food. And then I found this thing called Chia. It’s supposed to be super good for you. But it makes you poop pellets.
    .-= k8’s last blog post… You Say Its Your Birthday! =-.

  4. I completely understand the bitchy Xmas mom and have become her, but still hate dealing with MY mom when she turns into the holiday bitch. OOH Holiday Bitch, sounds like a children’s book, right?

    Anywho… Long sleeve cotton shirts are awesome, don’t stop! Just make it a harder… I won’t buy them if they’re over $4 or something. Who can pass on a four dollar shirt anyway?

  5. You need to post a better picture of how you looked on New Years Eve. The fuck me shoes alone are worth a photo. You looked fantastic!!! Show it off.

  6. I’m one of the lucky ones. My mom always made Thanksgiving, Christmtas and New Years all magical and perfect every year. She made it look easy and was always an awesome mom. I’m lucky.
    .-= Rebecca’s last blog post… Math Is Hard =-.

  7. The bangs are a good thing and I’ve still got 2 days of Christmas left.

    ……. I go through 12th Night….. I know, I know, but Christmas is so task wound up just getting to the 25th. I need the 12 days after to coast and recover. 12 days of peace and candles, soup in the pot and bread on the rise, the warmer friends in.

    Go ahead, call me Christmas Crazy. I’ve been called worse.

  8. xxx you’re too cute. Don’t get pressured, life’s tough enough as it is. You look absolutely delectable in yr latest photos, and I just want to say right now, give yourself a frikkin’ break, girl. Life is a big challenge — don’t let the small stuff get to you. You’re aces.

    My mom was also… difficult. Because I’m so much older than you, I can’t even say something more mean than that. But buck up…. You obviously have the heart and soul and crazy spirit to enjoy it all, eventually, even if right now that sounds difficult.

    Little ones aren’t easy. Tiring. Thankless. But everyone knows what a great job you’re doing. thinking of u…. xx
    .-= expateek’s last blog post… Procrastination is an Art Form. Really! =-.

  9. My favorite line….
    “I have no real New Year’s resolutions other than to stop buying long sleeved solid color cotton scoop neck tee shirts and start buying something a little more interesting, like maybe long sleeved solid color cotton scoop neck sweaters.”

    Pimp…GREAT shot of the bangs

    Crissy…you might not want to hear this, but I have two, and have been doing the Christmas “thing” for 10 years. It gets harder because you need to be sneakier! I know that’s not a word…don’t judge!

  10. But, but…Target scoop neck T-shirts are like a security blanket on bad clothes days. A fresh black Merona “T” can solve any fashion dilemma in my book.

  11. Your Majesty, would you please tell which work out videos keep you in remarkable trim?

    After these 12 Days of Christmas, I’m going to need some of those.

  12. Oh Mr. Perfectly, we can’t say it’s over yet. Those Whorewives of Douchebag County are cheating their asses off. As soon as they see that I’m pulling ahead, they’ll pull ahead just enough to win.

    Pimp- I didn’t make any promises in that regard. I learned from last year.

    Agnes- Jillian Micheals.
    .-= crissy’s last blog post… Thank Jeebus it’s over, right? =-.

  13. Way to be banging out those bangs. Though, me thinks people in the hair industry are calling it fringe these days. Trust the girl who got her hand slapped for calling them bangs. Outloud. In the salon. Sheesh.
    .-= SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post… Awards =-.

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