That was a busy weekend.
So Mister’s snippy snippy went fine on Friday. Thank you all for your well wishes. It warmed his heart as his balls froze to death under a pile of frozen peas. I was feeling a little sad about it, to be honest. I’m not going to have any babies anymore. Sigh. But then Homeslice starts bitching and pulling my hair and I am very comforted that I won’t be having any more babies. Hoo. Fucking. Ray!
And Mister is maybe a little sad that he didn’t have a son to pass on his family name, but I told him not to worry. Maybe one of the girls will be a lezbeefriend and she’ll adopt some little Chinese babies with her life partner and the family name will not die with him. It will just become Chinese instead.
(This cannot leave this blog, but between you and me, my money’s on Homeslice. I mean look at her!
She’s diesel! And she’s a little, shall we say, overly enthusiastic, about the boobages. I’m just saying.)
And so right after Mister got home from his appointment, I went to a party because I’m a very caring wife like that and I know you’ve all been waiting for the final count on the theme sweaters and I am very sad and disappointed to tell you that there was only ONE and it wasn’t even that hideous. What a bummer. And there was nary a candy cane turtle neck to be seen. What is wrong with these people? There were, however, a large number of red sweaters and snow flake pins, so it wasn’t a total loss. I got a really awesome coffee cup that said “Do you have a library card, cause I’d like to check you out.” on it. It’s pretty awesome, obviously, and so that nobody would Yankee Swap me for it, I rubbed it on my bum.
I like to think that I always bring a touch of class with me wherever I go. This was no exception.
And then yesterday we did our Christmas tree. It looks lovely, but can I ask you guys something? Do you always picture events like these in a glowy, Hallmarkish scene only to get to the tree place and freeze your ass off while dragging a kid who keeps whining “I’m hungry. Can we get donuts?” every five seconds because she knows Home Depot has donuts (assholes), and when she’s not asking for treats, she’s bitching that she’s cold because she left her hat and gloves in the car, and you just want to kill yourself? And then when you finally get the fucker home and set up in the stand, people wind up fighting and acting like jerks and you end up decorating the tree all by yourself while fantasizing that the Goblin King came and took them all away?
Or is it just me?
Anywho, that’s my weekend update. It was fucking fascinating, I know.
PS: I got a shipment of wonderful home made bath stuff that I ordered from the lovely Ms. Darkstar. She sent me some as a present after I had Homeslice and the stuff is just marvy. I bought some as Christmas presents. She makes awesome lip balm too. The orange mango (I’m too lazy to get up and go check on the name) one smells just a like an orange Chuckle. Serioulsy, you need to order some stuff for the people on your list who, ahem, need to smell better. She’ll hook your shit up.