Crissy: Drowing in her own good intentions

So Crissy has a guest blogger for you today, Queefies!

Aren’t you so excited you could pee?

And the reason for that is that Crissy is in way over her head with crap to do.  It turns out that Crissy is not very bright and she offered to have a Halloween party for Girlfriend and her little friends and all the parents and so there are approximately fifteen to one hundred millionty people coming to Crissy’s house on Saturday for a shindig, and Crissy has to pretty much do the whole thing herself PLUS care for Homeslice and Girlfriend because Mister is working. AND! It’s Crissy’s mom’s birthday that day and so she’s having a birthday party for her in the morning. AND! She scheduled a flu shot for Girlfriend on Saturday,too. AND! All this is AFTER Crissy and Mister go to a fabulous Halloween party thrown by a very impressive PR firm on Friday night, and so Crissy will do it all hungover and sleep deprived. Crissy is considering just staying drunk and powering through until Sunday.

It seems like the best option at this point.

Soooooo, Crissy is pretty much in ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodwhatthefuck mode.

Crissy is a dumbass.


Crissy is a badass. She hasn’t decided yet. 
Maybe Crissy will just go with badass.  It’s more self-affirming…we can probably all agree that Crissy is some kind of an ass. Or she has a hot ass or look at Crissy’s ass or Crissy’s a piece of ass or kiss Crissy’s ass or Crissy’s ass is grass or something ass-y.

Anyway, since it’s almost Halloween and stuff, Crissy has obtained a GHOST GUEST BLOGGER!

So here he is, DUDLEY MOORE!

Was that not the best 58 or so seconds of your day today?

You’re welcome, Queefies. Happy weekend! Crissy will be back on Monday (if her head doesn’t explode).

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  1. as i was walking down the street one day
    i saw a house on fire
    there was a man, standing at an upper-story window
    shouting and screaming to the crowd that was gathered there below
    for he was so afraid

    jump! you fucker, jump!
    jump into this here blanket what we are holding
    and you will be all right
    he jumped, hit the deck, broke his fucking neck

    there was no blanket

    laugh?! we nearly shat!
    we had not laughed so much since grandma died
    or auntie mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
    we are miserable sinners
    fi-i-ilthy fuckers


  2. Wow! That’s a lot of stuff to do! Good luck, eh, you won’t need luck, you’re awesome. Way to go Crissy! Have fun at the parties…and drinking the entire way through would probably help.

  3. I loved your guest blogger! I think my favorite part is “auntie mabel caught her left tit in the mangle”. And what is with the celery up the inflatable doll’s hoohah?!


  4. The internetz did not die, Crissy… things are just not working the way they are supposed to and it is a frustrating morning. GRRRR!

    It is The Girl’s real birthday this Saturday. She doesn’t like birthday parties cuz the ones I used to throw for her sucked ass compared to all of her friends parties (Her friends had HOTEL PARTIES and went to poshy poshy places and had the whole gigantic pool to themselves because somebody’s daddy was blowing the hotel manager or something…)

    I’m sure you’ll make it through the weekend and it will all be awesome because you’re badass that way. You can do it!
    .-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… To a Degree… =-.

  5. Hey…what happened to assical, our new word for the week? I was looking for it and waiting for it while feeling bad for you for your not boring weekend! Great Guest/Ghost blogger, I vote for Pimp next time though! Happy partying to all the Crissy’s this weekend!!

  6. Who can top “Jump you fucker, jump”? And I vote that you’re a badass. Good for you that you’re getting Girlfriend the flu shot.

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