On Saturday, Mister was folding laundry at the dining room table and Crissy was making out with her new dishwasher, when Mister came into the kitchen doing a little booty dance at Crissy, all the while singing “don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot. like. me?”
And to Crissy’s complete horror, he had on her size 2 (before you get all mad that Crissy’s a size 2, just know they’re from Old Navy and everyone knows you can be anywhere from a 2 to a 22 at Old Navy. Sizing there is loosely interpreted, at best. Stop yelling at Crissy!) skinny jeans that she has worked so hard to fit back into after having a baby! and he puts them on just like that after having french fries and beer.
Look at him! He’s feelin’ all sassy and to that Crissy says, “GIVE MY JEANS BACK, LADY!”
What! The! Shit!
Just look at his fanny in those tight little skinny jeans!
This is so. not. fair. Queefies!
Crissy has a good mind to send him out on a hike in the Schmuckytown Woods and feed him to the Woodland Gays, but she’s scared her skinny jeans might get dirty or ripped, but then again maybe she’s willing to sacrifice them for the sheer pleasure of watching Mr. Hipster Lookatmyass get what’s coming to him over and over again.
Next thing you know, he’ll be wearing leggings with an oversized sweater.
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i’d fuck me
i want to know what goes through a guys mind when he sees a pair of his wife’s jeans and decides to put them on.
That being said.. I will never look that good in a pair of jeans. skinny or not.
CuppyCakes’s last blog post… I Just Don’t Get It…
but i suspect he is wearing NOTHING under those size 2 too….ewwwwwwwww
Holy smokes, Mister! work it!
Crissy: I’m married to the same skinny man. I grew out of his (and my) pants three months into this pregnancy. He’s also gained 20 lbs right along with me and every time I tell someone that they say “where is it?!” No one ever says that to me.
I’m going to go cry and finish off the last of the cookies now.
chickenlips’s last blog post… knocked on my ass
Pimp- of course you would.
Cuppycakes- He looks way better in them than any woman!
aznman- yeah. He got his balls all over my pants!
chickenlips- It drives you crazy, doesn’t it? I ate the rest of the cookies too because WHY BOTHER TRYING TO BE THIN?
You are too funny. I like his sexy little smirk as well.
expateek’s last blog post… A Russian aide-memoire
ouch that looks like it hurts!
kelly’s last blog post… Bully’s Shouldn’t Win
google ads are all about jeans today! lol
i want skinny stretchy pants now. they were actually pretty comfortable, but i’d like a SLIGHTLY larger size.
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
PG’s last blog post… I See Banana Bread In My Not Too Distant Future (244/365 v2.0)
Where is your penis and your balls? Where do they GO in pants like that?
k8’s last blog post… Some People Consider It Torture
Oh great, on top of it being a Monday, we have to confront the reality that MEN FIT IN OUR JEANS BETTER THAN WE DO?! Too bad I’m already at work or I’d be calling in sick for severe mental anguish.
Did you already finish the cookies? If not, pass some over, sister.
That Kind of Girl’s last blog post… The Kind of Girl Who … wants nothing to do with you unless you stick the landing (An NTKOG That Wasn’t)
It’s things like this that make me happy my husband will NEVER be a size two anything… or wear my jeans… EVER!!!
I CAN however picture his head exploding after he sees my keyboard… “so Pottymouth, what did you do today?”
Well, you see, I was reading blogs while doing some laundry and I sprayed tea on EVERYTHING because Crissy’s husband decided to wear her skinny jeans and parade around for pictures….
Great way to start a Monday morning for SURE!!! :p
P.S I second the comment from K8 that *wonders* where the boy bits go in those pants…
*wonders* as in the same way one *wonders* if they should really open that container that’s been in the fridge for the last year and a half- or just throw it out…
Potty Mouth Mommy’s last blog post… When it rains….
btw crissy, you’re NOT up at TMW… yet.
PATIENCE i keep telling myself
Mister is evil. First, it’s your jeans. Next, it’s going to be your bikini. But please, make sure he waxes first.
Dingo’s last blog post… I’m Totally RAD
I wore girl jeans for a cowboy costume once. I was a size four.
Now I feel fat.
THANKS CRISSY.
Ben’s last blog post… "Just had a Ben Boudreau moment…"
Not shown: Mister trying on the bra and thong. Because who doesn’t want to feel pretty every now and then?
The fact that both you and Mister fit into size 2 skinny jeans has NOT RIGHT written all over it. Seriously. I think I just tasted a little bit of breakfast for the second time.
SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post… Overheard
What’s even better is when your husband fits into YOUR jeans, but you bulge and spill out of HIS. I’m not sure how that works…
HAHA. Love. He should just wear his socks, those pants, and go out like that.
Maxie’s last blog post… Goals.
That makes me want to never eat again. As I sit here eating pasta.
Natalie’s last blog post… The Last Time I Mention Warts, I Promise
it’s sort of amazing that pimp’s junk fits into a size two….I pegged him as a size four at least.
ok, now that dingo brought it up, i want to see the pimp in your bikini.
Alice’s last blog post… stink, stank, stunk
And now I feel fat.
He does where your clothes a lot. Maybe he wouldn’t mind…
LA Cochran’s last blog post… "Closer" –Ne-yo
i don’t give a shit…
i’ll put the bikini on!
too bad my prude wife don’t thong.
I just want to kick his skinny ass in those skinny jeans!!!
If you send Mr. to the woods with those jeans and that sweater on I believe that would constitute spousal abuse, or if you get it on film a big fat check from the adult gay movie industry.
Forget cookies. This calls for wine and lots of it!
Mister is a show-off, flaunting his skinniness like that. I don’t know if I could ever have fit into such jeans. Long live Apple Bottoms!
Bikini! Bikini! Bikini! The Queefs have spoken!
Dingo’s last blog post… I’m Totally RAD
Pimp-as long as you don’t want boobs to fill out the bikini!
[...] purchased his very own pair of skinny jeans so he won’t be borrowing Crissy’s anymore. There were fights, it wasn’t [...]
this was a pretty good google adsense day.
who knows why??