Is there a guy playing guitar in the closet or is Crissy an asshole?

So Crissy’s friend Celina at work (remember Celina got Crissy some cake on her first day back at work?  We love her, don’t we Queefs?) brought in some beer for her to try because it has beet juice in it or some shit and it sounded interesting and so Crissy, who doesn’t ordinarily drink beer, said to her “Sure.  Bring it. Crissy will give it a whirl” and Crissy planned to bring it home and watch a little True Blood with her beet red beer from Celina and it was going to be very festive and vampire-y but then Crissy started feeling like ass.

Girlfriend is feeling much better thanks for asking but Crissy and Mister are sick now and Crissy is praying she’s got Swine Flu and not Baby Fever because she doesn’t know if that Plan B thing worked yet and she’d much rather have Swine Flu because at least that goes away eventually and you don’t have to start a college plan for Swine Flu, Queefs.  You can drink wine with the Swine Flu.  You don’t have to get a babysitter for Swine Flu.  You see where Crissy is going with this can’t you?

PLEASE JESUS LET IT BE SWINE FLU!

Crissy has never wanted swine flu so badly in her life.

Anyway, Crissy started to feel like ass and her focus on her work was just like, forget it and so she looked at the beer and the beer looked at her and it said “what are you waiting for, Crissy?” and so Crissy popped the top off and drank it and said “beer, you are quite delicious.”

So there Crissy was right in the back room of Schmuckytown Pubic talking to a bottle of beet beer whilst someone was in the supply closet singing and playing guitar.

It was a bizarre night to say the very least and maybe Crissy didn’t really drink the beer and maybe the guy in the closet was really a CD player, but she thought about drinking the beer because that CD player was quite convincing and everyone knows that nothing goes better with live music than beet beer.

And she did finally go home to watch the last True Blood of the season and WHAT HAPPENED TO BILL? Did Eric have him taken because Queen Sophie-Ann found out Bill knows Eric has Lafayette selling V? OR did Eric just use that as an excuse because he wants Sookie?  Or is it none of these things?!? Will Sookie fuck a tiger next season?

Dun-dun-duuunnnn!!

This was a weird post, right?

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19 comments

  1. I need to watch True Blood. Everybody and their grandmother’s aunt is watching it except me.

    Also, I hope it’s not the baby fever or swine flu. Maybe just allergies or minor cold? Stupid viruses.
    .-= Marie’s last blog post… Getting Tipsy* =-.

  2. I hope it’s not baby fever. You’ve been there, done that. Why don’t you have an ocelot? The world is already overpopulated with people but ocelots? Now there’s something we need more of. I keep trying to get all my friends to have ocelots but they keep popping out babies. Selfish bitches.
    .-= Dingo’s last blog post… Fine Feathered Fiends =-.

  3. There’s a beer with pumpkin in it, too, but alas, I do not drink beer either. Blech.

    Hope you guys feel better.

    I wonder what’s going to happen to Jessica, too, since she’s feasting on trucker dudes in parking lots. Bill’s going to be quite pissed. Well, if he wasn’t staked already or something.
    .-= RHz’s last blog post… Little Luna needs help =-.

  4. They have gotten so far from the books that I don’t dare try to guess what the show will do. Since everyone else in your household has been sick, chances are you don’t have the baby fever. It sucks, I am sick also today…must be going around Rhody.

  5. There are already cocktail recipes online that use the TrueBlood blood orange beverage as a mixer…..ima gonna try ’em!

    Also, I am thinkin that Sophie Ann didn’t think E would “take care of ” Bill (because he knows Sook would kill him) and she got with Mississippi and turned his nasty ol’ maker on him….she was not happy when she left Godric’s house. That would get us back in line sort of with the books….

    Eric is hotter than a six-shooter……
    .-= Lisa’s last blog post… Pancakes =-.

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