Over the weekend The Crissys and The Micheles took all the little childrens to see Thomas the Tank Engine!
Crissy was going to wear her Lady Gaga outfit but at the last minute realized that maybe Thomas isn’t into black vinyl and so she went with something a little more understated with just a hint of bondage from the baby sling. Crissy also climbed all over the other trains just to make Thomas jealous. It drove him wild. Crissy could tell.
Before anyone goes thinking Crissy is one of those sad monkeys who carries around a dead baby, just know that Homeslice is bored. She’s not dead.
And aside from the train climbing, Crissy did not ride any of the other rides because Crissy doesn’t do rides as you Queefies may or may not recall from the Storyland Turtle Ride Incident of 2008:
And that was fine because she had Homeslice in the baby sling thing anyway and also she kept Michele company because she no likey the rides neither.
Girlfriend. Also not a big fan of death from 8,000 feet in the air.
Here are Crissy and Michele waiting for everyone to get off the Ferris wheel of death.
Don’t they look HOT? Crissy and Michele were the only two MILFS at the whole place and Crissy was disappointed at the number of DILFS around. As in, there weren’t any.
Not a one!
Instead, Crissy saw this dipshit:
And this guy is pretty badass in his ninja socks:
Very nice. Great success.
And then the Victim of an Unfortunate Incident.
Nomnomnomnomnomnom….You’d think he would have learned that walking while focusing on doing other things leads to accidents and neck injuries, but no.
And Crissy wanted very muchly to touch Thomas but she couldn’t because there was a guy standing there guarding him!
Can you believe that?
Thomas has a bodyguard.
So when Crissy tried to climb up on him, the bodyguard guy told her to get down because there was not to be any inappropriate touching of Thomas and then, AND THEN! he threatened to have a restraining order put on poor, poor Crissy.
It was humiliating.
But Girlfriend and Alena got to have their picture taken next to him and so that was good.
And Girlfriend did not lose it when confronted with Jesus/Thomas and so that was a big relief to Crissy because she didn’t want a scene and she knows this is sort of heart breaking to the Queefs because they were all looking forward to seeing a video of Crissy suffering but it didn’t happen and so HA!
You guys are mean for wishing such things on poor, dear Crissy.
All in all it was a pretty wonderful day and everyone had a nice time except for Homeslice who was unimpressed with the whole thing and would much rather have kicked it in her crib with a boob and a nap.