Crissy hearts Eric

Last night, Mister emailed Crissy some pictures of ERIC from True Blood to her work email in an attempt to have ERIC act as sort of a fluffer for Crissy for when she got home even though she doesn’t really need one because Crissy has been going around like one giant slutbag and about humping stuff and rubbing up against things and she complains to Mister about her insatiable condition and all he says to her is “story of my life” and he gives her no sympathy at all, but if Crissy did need a fluffer, ERIC would make a fine one because

RIGHT?

Haaaiii!

And then they chopped his hair so he doesn’t look so much like a girl anymore:

huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuuuhuuhuhu.

What?

Wait.

WHY ARE CRISSY’S UNDERPANTIES WET?

Did Crissy pee her pants again? SHUT. UP. It happens sometimes after you have a baby.

It’s normal, okay?

What was Crissy talking about?

Oh.

ERIC.

(swoon)

Is it wrong that she replaced a picture of little Homeslice on her computer desktop with one of ERIC?

Is that bad?

Like…

really bad?

But it doesn’t matter because it’s true love, you know. Crissy thought she loved Mick St. John

but now she’s just all, “Mick St. John? Who’s that turd burglar?” Clearly, that love affair wasn’t meant to be because he made Sexy Time with that Beth girl and then they took the show off the air, those fuckers.  And then for a brief time, the fifteen year old girl inside of Crissy loved Edward

and she even really, really, really wanted his car because she wanted to pop a wheelie and peel out in front of the preschool in it and make the Escalade Pajama Cunts weep with jealousy. WEEP. In their pajamas. Cunts.

but that was fleeting and immature as, well, a fifteen year old girl.

Crissy is telling you that this thing with ERIC is the really dealy, people.

Crissy swears it.

Crissy + Eric 4 Eva.

kris_eric-2

Because yeeeeessssss.

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31 comments

  1. I don’t even want to hear ONE MORE TIME that you don’t understand Pimp’s fascination with all things GOTH. You two were meant for each other…

    In other news, I’ll be wearing a turtleneck the next time I visit–I wouldn’t want my jugular to get you all in a “kerfuffle”!

  2. A few days ago I discovered your website and have been reading along. I thought I would give my opening comment. Im not sure exactly what to say but that I have really enjoyed reading. Interesting blog. I shall continue coming to this website now and again. I have also subscribed to the RSS feed to get updates.

  3. Have you been able to see Sookies fantasy sex scenes yet? YUM!!Ever since the books, it has always been Eric. I have to confess that I even have him listed on facebook and get updates with photos and info. You should check out the scene of Alexander Skarsgard in some foreign movie in the shower. The camera needs to drop just a bit.

  4. melissa:

    count 40 weeks from today…

    consider that both my daughters are gemini…

    the bottom line is that my wife seems to be on an annual cycle. basically she’s in heat right now.

  5. HA! The lap top is logged on as ME!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Frustrating isn’t it? I’m it’s mommy now! ME!

    Ahem.

    So I’m thinking you need to STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME for the rest of the month at least. Away. I think I need to leave the country or the planet or something.

    You scare me.

  6. I am enjoying the fact that Crissy and Pimp are using the internets to communicate with each other. I used to laugh because my mommy and daddy emailed or called each other from different rooms of the house. Ultimately, I suppose it’s about getting the communicating done.

    And I have the girls, Crissy and Pimp. They’re safe and sound and eating southern things like grits and okra.

  7. I like Eric’s hair but I think his true appeal, aside from his overall shockingly good looks, is that women imagine that Eric’s dick might just be as big as his forehead.

    I am in love with that chair he is sitting in for that first pic. I could show that chair a very good time.
    .-= stoogepie’s last blog post… Mister Shorts Number 9 =-.

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