Last night, Mister emailed Crissy some pictures of ERIC from True Blood to her work email in an attempt to have ERIC act as sort of a fluffer for Crissy for when she got home even though she doesn’t really need one because Crissy has been going around like one giant slutbag and about humping stuff and rubbing up against things and she complains to Mister about her insatiable condition and all he says to her is “story of my life” and he gives her no sympathy at all, but if Crissy did need a fluffer, ERIC would make a fine one because
And then they chopped his hair so he doesn’t look so much like a girl anymore:
WHY ARE CRISSY’S UNDERPANTIES WET?
Did Crissy pee her pants again? SHUT. UP. It happens sometimes after you have a baby.
It’s normal, okay?
What was Crissy talking about?
Is it wrong that she replaced a picture of little Homeslice on her computer desktop with one of ERIC?
Is that bad?
But it doesn’t matter because it’s true love, you know. Crissy thought she loved Mick St. John
but now she’s just all, “Mick St. John? Who’s that turd burglar?” Clearly, that love affair wasn’t meant to be because he made Sexy Time with that Beth girl and then they took the show off the air, those fuckers. And then for a brief time, the fifteen year old girl inside of Crissy loved Edward
and she even really, really, really wanted his car because she wanted to pop a wheelie and peel out in front of the preschool in it and make the Escalade Pajama Cunts weep with jealousy. WEEP. In their pajamas. Cunts.
but that was fleeting and immature as, well, a fifteen year old girl.
Crissy is telling you that this thing with ERIC is the really dealy, people.
Crissy swears it.
Crissy + Eric 4 Eva.