The Queefs maybe win a prize?

Okay Queefies.  Here’s the deal.  Crissy has no ideas for a post this morning and she can’t even think of one because Homeslice is being really emo and crap and she has a fist full of Crissy’s hair and she’s kicking Crissy’s arm whilst she nurses and Crissy tries to type and Girlfriend won’t stop talking to her about what’s happening on Sesame Street right now and she keeps going “look! look! MOMMY LOOK!” or she keeps putting her face between Crissy and the computer and going “ma-na-ma-na-do-do-do-do-do” so Crissy needs the Queefs to tell her what’s happening in these pictures because it’s Crissy against the children and the children are winning.

So, go be a Royal Queef and tell Crissy a story about her pictures and because Crissy knows people just don’t do things unless there’s something in it for them, she thinks she might bestow a gift upon the Queef with the most interesting captions  and the nature of that gift will be a surprise! mostly because Crissy hasn’t come up with something yet.

So, GO!








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***Crissy thinks she will give you guys until Sunday night to think of stuff and if  you already posted and think of something better, come on back and share it!

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  1. The google ads right now are pure awesomeness. One is for Ask Dr. Testicle and the other one is American Balls Shaver: learn the new way to shave balls!

  2. Oh…I so want to win.

    #1 ‘Mah Mama who carried mah bahby fer me for those 9 long months is SUING for custody!!!!!!!”

    #2 “The therapy I received from the new series Hoarders isn’t working! Just look! In a DAY, I managed to save ALL my used toilet paper and feminine products!!”

    #3 “Kids are smarter than we think……little Susie has you FOOLED that she’s showing you an owie, but she’s really screaming ‘FUCK YOU’!!!!”

    #4 “Call the Tree Guys……another one died”

    #5 “Rover is hedging the odds of being able to drive his entire family into the ocean so he can run to Europe with the family fortune, and finally be free to marry Big Pussy with no judgement”

    #6 “Oh, Christ. Call the Chiropractor!!”

  3. 1 – Gramma “hahahahaha I hope she grows up to be just like YOU!”
    Homeslice “WTF? Is this thing working? Hellllloooo hungry over here. Hello?”
    Crissy “Sweet Baby Jeebus and the wee little donkey, just give me 5 seconds of peaceful sleep, right here, right now.”

    2 – hmmm? Perhaps there haven’t been any hits on the Craigslist ad for a Maidlaundressnannywhore because the default picture comes off as a little ‘needy

    3 – Girlfriend aces her first test on how to talk to potential boyfriends.

    4 – Once he dries out a little more, we’re going to smoke him! I love these URI parties!!!!

    5 – Where in the HELL did he get cat poop to eat at the beach?

    6 – Even the Water Elements themselves want to dance with the Queen of Everything!

  4. 1. Crissy witnesses another Maidlaundressnannywhore FAIL at the whole “wet nurse” requirement.

    2. Aftermath of another Big Pussy kitty porn and freebased Friskies bender.

    3. “Hey, yo! Escalade Pajama Cunts! The QOFE needs one of those close parking spaces y’all hog!”

    4. “Wow! Dude said he had some killer weed… guess it killed him alright…”

    5. Rover is disappointed when Crissy explains to him that Homeslice is neither doggy treat nor doggy toy.

    6. Still frame of something that obviously belongs in THIS: music video
    .-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… Late Night (again) =-.

  5. 1. “OMFG. I can NOT believe Mister just told my parents about my excursion at Target for his ‘raincoat’ and now they want to see it so they can get him matching boots.”

    2. News at 6: Girlfriend summons her inner magics to create a tornado that destroys everythinggoddamnthinginseconds while the QOFE changes Homeslice.

    3. “You see this, Mom? This is what I think about sharing.”

    4. We’ve decided to make our passion for the Green Movement a little more noticeable.
    “Quick, honey! Snap the picture with the drunk, passed out guy before he wakes up!”

    5. Fido is mesmerized by the QOFE and her royal offspring.

    6. The QOFE tries her hand at water choreography for an end-of-summer show.

  6. 1. Much to Crissy’s dismsay, Grandma tries to take up breast feeding again.

    2. A mere 9 seconds of no adult supervision.

    3. Here’s what I think of colour photos.

    4. He looks good enough to roll and smoke.

    5. Love on the rocks.

    6. Ariel: Mythical chest-thrusting creature of the deep. or. “Hey, sweetheart, do that roman soldier helmet thing again!”
    .-= Christian’s last blog post… Want Something To Do Tonight? =-.

  7. 1. Crissy thinks to herself “SHIT!!! That damn pill better have worked because I will NOT go through this again!”
    2. Girlfriend’s Revenge on Mommy and Daddy for having Homeslice
    3. This is why Mommy’s Drink
    5. Sometimes I think I should have gotten a couple dogs instead of having kids.
    6. JillianMichaelstheSweatyWhore can kiss my ass.

  8. Once upon a time in the not to distant future The QOFE takes her new born princess to the Schmuckety Town park for a little mother daughter time in the rare but oh so wonderful summer sunshine. While at the park the Queen and her daughter encounter a former Maidlaundressnannywhore who regales the two with tails of days gone by (pic #1). Saddened by the fact that our Queen can not find a more suitable Maidlaundressnannywhore to serve her MANY, MANY, MANY needs the Queen closes her eyes and dreams of a day when she can do Yoga and then rub one out in peace. Meanwhile back at the castle the oldest princess and her dear friend Alena decide to have a cuntcheese making party. Now if you have ever been to a cuntcheese making party you would know that it is a very messy affair (Pic #2). Upon her return from the park, our fair queen notices the mess, while ignoring the many beer cans left all over the castle by the king. The QOFE summons her Maidlaundressnannywhore to clean the room, but to no avail as the position is still unfilled. In a desperate moment the Queen orders the cheese makers to clean the room. The oldest princess waives her magic wand in the air (Pic #3) and calls out for the Schmuckety Town Woodland Fairies (who happen to live next door) to appear to help clean the mess (Pic #4). The Fairies, who are unable to approach cuntcheese because everybody knows Fairies are allergic to CUNTcheese (think Superman and Kryptonite, or Brittney Spears and talent), decide to whisk the royal family to the beach. The next day, while at the beach the family finds another less royal family enjoying themselves. The two couples begin to talking about their dreams and wishes. The less royal couple, with only a dog to care for, take pity upon the Queen and decide to give them their Maidlaundressnannywhore (Pic #5) (If you look to the right hand side of the picture you can see the leg of the sunbathing Maidlaundressnannywhore). In addition they also give the Queen a new Saab, refrigerator with ice and water in the door, and a new mattress set. Our QOFE is so elated that her search for a Maidlaundressnannywhore is finally over; and that she may now pursue her true calling in life, Barbie Comics; that she comes so hard that she soaks everything around her (Pic #6). And everybody gets a Happy Ending!!!

  9. 1. Chrissy just realized to her right sits herself in thirty years.

    2. Hey, it’s either sexy time or cleaning time… you choose!

    3. Look Ken, I’m bilingual!

    4. The Pirate of Penzance meets the Tree Man of Indonesia.

    5. Ken, this is the last time you pick the spot on the beach!

    6. Chrissy practicing for the Olympic singles synchronized swimming. The hell with those other bitches, there is only one QOFE.

  10. Can I pick the prize I want?

    1. Sadly, Crissy found herself empty-handed when the music stopped during this latest frenzied round of Musical Babies.

    2. It was with some dismay that Crissy realized that perhaps Girlfriend still conducted nightly neighborhood panty raids.

    3. Alena is asked what else princes are good for.

    4. The exterminators devised a fiendishly clever plan to lure Frank the Woodchuck out of hiding.

    5. Unfortunately for Crissy and her queefs, the sunbather to their right chose the precise moment they snapped a peaceful family picture to try on his blue erection Speedos.

    6. For no reason whatsoever, Crissy was asked to leave the department store’s Jacuzzi section only moments later.
    .-= stoogepie’s last blog post… Mister Shorts Number 9 =-.

  11. 1. Crissy thinks “Grandma’s are decorative, not functional!”
    2. “Alice!!!!”
    3. This is what I think of sharing boobies!
    4. What did I tell Mister about never picking up hitchhikers near an SCA event?!
    5. If Mister backs up a little more, the kids’ college and my new Saab are paid for!
    6. Phoebe Cates, eat your heart out!
    .-= Rachael’s last blog post… This explains so much… =-.

  12. Has anybody else noticed that we have not heard a word from Crissy since post number 11? I’ll bet Mister left work early and the two of them have been behind locked doors ever since. At least that is what I want to think.

  13. 1. It was at that moment, that Shelly remembered the consequence of having her tubes tied when she was 19.
    2. Break-and-Enter crimes are always traumatic, but less so when committed by 3 year olds.
    3. Amanda learned early in life that being nice wasn’t going to get her that corner office.
    4. Years afterwards, Plantro would agree with The Shut-In that this had been the best party the League of Nerdy Superheroes ever had. But the truth was, he had been too drunk to remember anything.
    5. No one would think back to the happy photograph at the beach when Wally took a huge dump on the living room floor after everyone had gone to bed.
    6. Only seconds before, Leanne had wondered why someone yelled “Cartoon!!”
    .-= Trooper Thorn’s last blog post… Friday Demotivation =-.

  14. These are amaing photos, and I doubt that any of my captions could do them justice; nonetheless, I came up with a few offerings:

    1. Thank God. Just fucking thank God Grandma’s here.
    2. Damage from Hurricane Homeslice is estimated to be in the tens of billions of dollars.
    3. Learned something new today!
    4. The Green Man, once thought to be mythical, actually attended last night’s party, got hammered and fell asleep.
    5. On a rare sunny day, the Queen of Fucking Everything took some time out to display her incredible hotness to adoring Queefs who happened to be at the beach.
    6. Emancipated temporarily from domestic duties, the Queen of Fucking Everything does a water courthship dance.

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