Or, well, less rich if you’re Crissy and you ‘re back at work and you’re feeling like a very fancy lady because you have a j-o-b and p-a-y-c-h-e-c-k after many weeks of being utterly financially destitute and before anyone says “but Crissy! You bought a fancy new refrigerator and a super-duper mattress this summer. Surely you couldn’t have been too poor!” Crissy will tell you that those were birthday gifts from her Fairy Stepmother and really Crissy and Mister were very, very po’ all summer long.
In fact, the only time they went out together was on Crissy’s birthday. That’s the last time Crissy has had restaurant food that didn’t come in a paper wrapper.
And Crissy didn’t buy any new anythings all summer and so now she’s just going bullshit with the bank card and Mister is sort of being cool about it– that is until he sees what she did last night at Old Navy.
But she got matching little skirts for the babies because how fucking cute is that?!
They needed the skirts and all the other stuff or else they’ll have naked little bums and that’s not good!
Crissy may be shoving those condoms she bought the other day firmly up her ass as Mister will not want to make any Sexy Time with a spendthrift like Crissy. OR more likely is that Mister will be shoving his becondomed wenis up Crissy’s bum in an effort to recoup the damage she did to his credit card(s).
Actually, he won’t need the condom if he’s shoving his wenis up Crissy’s bum, will he?
But Mister should be nice to Crissy and not give her his dull speech about mortgage payments because she finally stopped with the wanting the new car thing (for the next fifteen minutes anyways) and she’s saving hundreds of thousands of dollars in formula (yes, Homeslice eats that much, you should see her!) by doing The Breastfeeding and also The Breastpumping while standing up in the men’s staff bathroom instead of eating during her dinner break so she says if Mister has a problem with her spending he should should pour himself a nice big glass of shuthefuckuporCrissywillstopbreastfeedingandthenwe’llreallybepoor.
Also, Crissy might have an exciting new job and she will not tell the Queefs about it just in case it doesn’t happen, but it will mean tens more dollars just flying right into Crissy’s pocketbook and that will indeed make Crissy a very fancy lady.
Perhaps Crissy will even get this because a fancy lady needs a fancy purse for all the fancy money she will have:
Do you not just want to take this purse out for dinner and then take it home and lick it all up and down, Queefies?