That is what Mister said as the Crissys woke up to two kids crying this morning. It turns out that the only time Mister and Crissy are truly, truly happy these days is when they’re sleeping. They can’t even do Sexy Time correctly anymore.
And so you know what Crissy wants more than anything else? What she needs from deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down inside of her?
That Maidlaundressnannywhore she’s been talking about because seriously?
This is bullshit.
In other news, yesterday Girlfriend was coloring in her Cinderella coloring book and came across a picture of the prince bending down to kiss Cinderella’s hand. She held it up for Crissy and said “look mommy! The prince has his face in Cinderella’s vagina because that’s what princes do!”
And that is how Crissy will leave you for today, Queefies.
May your weekends be the stuff of fairy tales.
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- Talk To Crissy’s Kid Like That Again. I Dare You.
i am a prince among men.
Crissy’s Pimp’s last blog post… august 18th already?
Sleeping children=silence=heaven
she is so your daughter
Jac’s last blog post… I’ll be back
She is learning the facts of life early.
The Peach Tart’s last blog post… Buddy Has A Ball At The 18th Annual Testicle Festival
Yeah, there was that one time when my 3 year old angelic, blond, curly headed baby boy stood in the hallway as his older brother passed and said ‘Bastard…..”
WTF?
It’s those exact kind of things that both make me REALLY want kids and really NOT want kids.
It’s a conundrum.
deutlich’s last blog post… Reflection
Awesome child. That is all.
k8’s last blog post… Happy Feet Friday
Pimp- Yes dear, and that is the closest any part of you will come to that part of me until you’ve had your manhood taken away.
Valerie- You know it, sister.
Jac- I swear I have no idea where she gets it!
The Peach Tart- I think the Barbies have been whispering to her about what I do with them for the blog.
Shelly- Hahahahahahahaah!!!! That’s awesome. Sorry.
Deutlich- It’s worth it. It really is. Right now, Girlfriend is dumping blueberries into her yogurt and humming the Swedish Chef song from the Muppets. How fucking cute is that? You want kids.
Crissy’s last blog post… Now is the hour of our discontent.
k8- Yes.
Crissy’s last blog post… Now is the hour of our discontent.
Sounds like something my son would say – he’s too observant for me.
Today I fear he may sing his testicles song at school because he can’t seem to get the word out of his head.
Akilah Sakai’s last blog post… Johnny Testicles
when you find a good snippy doc, let me know too
i have been putting it off as well….
on a side note i read your second paragraph as, “what she needs deep deep deep deep deep inside of her”
I am a pig and i completely blame mister for changing me…
i used to be such an innocent fellow
But that is what princes do. The best princes give rimjobs, too. As do the very best maidlaundressnannywhores.
Yo, when did you get the awesome ad that invites me to take my nursing career to the next level? I’ve been with a couple of nurses, but I wouldn’t call it a career. Still, I just might take them up on that!
stoogepie’s last blog post… Mister Shorts Number 9
Akilah- I worry that she’s been sneaking around at night during what we call “adult swim” and has seen what was on the TV.
aznman- You were a pig anyway, he’s just bringing it out.
Stoogie- Well, yes. That IS what princes do! She’s not wrong. Tell me. Did you take the nurse’s temperature rectally?
Crissy’s last blog post… Now is the hour of our discontent.
I’m trying to figure out why my “ads” bar here has “Testicular Cancer Info”…and “Frog Prince Gold Crown… He’s your Prince. Let Him Know. Silver frog Prince with Gold Crown”.
And the whole crying, pooping, sticky, robbing me of sleep thing that kids do is precisely why MsDarkstar needs to remain Childfree. Otherwise, I’ll end up in a cell with Susan Smith and last I knew, they didn’t allow blogging in prison.
MsDarkstar’s last blog post… Emancipation Day, On-Call Weekend Looming and Up Too Late
rimjobs are like my bread and butter.
my mouth’s watering just thinking about it…
it’s probably best we don’t meet, stoogepie; we could definitely do some damage.
MsDarkstar- Frog prince? That’s funny.
Pimp- Damage is good! We like damage.
Crissy’s last blog post… Now is the hour of our discontent.
remember that next time you’re walking funny
In the eternal words of Baron Baptiste- “this is the kind of pain that brings bliss…”
Crissy’s last blog post… Now is the hour of our discontent.
Girlfriend’s comments are priceless.
Marie’s last blog post… Downtown
I’m not sure which is better today, the post itself or the interesting turn the comments are taking between Pimp, Stoogie, and QOFE.
Also, I guess I’m in the gutter too, because I read the deep deep inside me thing the same as azn. When I read his comment I had to reread the post.
And also, I like when toddlers are at the age they repeat inappropriate things. My nephew said “fuck” for a while after hearing his dad accidentally say it. And cursed the dog, using the term appropriately too. Awesomeness. I might change my mind when it’s my own, but we shall see.
it’s amazing how kids can pick up not only the vocabulary, but also the appropriate usage and context of slang and swear words.
yesterday afternoon girlfriend looked at me and said, “it’s fricking hot!”
and it was.
i smiled and said, “yep, it sure is.”
Pimp: That’s cool and all, but we were talking about rimjobs. Please regale us with a tale of Girlfriend’s last rimjob-related comment. Rimjobs are like jello: there’s always room for more.
stoogepie’s last blog post… Mister Shorts Number 9
I’m with Stoogie. Perhaps if we can stay focused on that particular area, we might not need the snippy doctor after all…a proctologist maybe…
Crissy’s last blog post… Now is the hour of our discontent.
well, ok then…
i heard from a friend of a friend that if a rimjobee partakes in a lot of splenda (or other non-digestible food sweetener), the rimjober will experience a delectable, nectarous, nonpareil.
Hi Queen Crissy…it’s not my business but…why don’t u get a nanny? or an au pair? I mean, they won’t do your laundry but they’d do the girls’ laundry and their stuff…idk…just saying…
Thrice’s last blog post… What you all wanted to know about Thrice # 2
if this au pair looks good in a french maid’s outfit i am ALL about it
Au pairs are pretty cheap for live-in help but they come with rules that more expensive domestic servants do not. Like you are not allowed to make them wear uniforms and you even have to treat them like human beings, even treat them like family. That’s a dealbreaker for me. At the very least, any decent help must wear a uniform. I’m even flexible about what the uniform looks like: maid, cheerleader, nurse, Japanese schoolgirl, cop, clown, and ballerina all strike me as perfectly acceptable. I am okay with nudity as a “uniform” as well. But I just won’t put up with normal clothing.
stoogepie’s last blog post… Mister Shorts Number 9
Stoogie, that’s because you like clown-faced whores in stripper shoes.
I’m glad to see you haven’t been neglecting your child’s education!
Prosy’s last blog post… Friday Book Review
Daisee579: Yes, this is true. Very true.
stoogepie’s last blog post… Mister Shorts Number 9
That is just. Awesome.
Beyond Alice’s last blog post… Still waiting.
teach them young. you’re doing it right.
Maxie’s last blog post… Peep Show
I am so proud of girlfriend. So very proud!
Melissa Lion’s last blog post… The Daily Beast
argh…stoowhatever’s comment hurt…because…I AM AN AU PAIR dammit
Thrice’s last blog post… THE CRIPPLE
but the question is: will you wear a uniform?