Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch

Crissy has noticed that there’s this thing going around the blogs and everyone is all TMI! TMI! LOL! and Crissy thinks it’s really silly. What is it called? TMI Thursdays or some such thing?

Blogs by their very nature are TMI. Nobody needs to know what you made for dinner, but you write about it and people read because everyone who reads blogs likes TMI so just stop claiming TMI and just write about how you blew it up in the bathroom at your bff’s wedding and ruined dinner for everyone or how you whacked off to a picture of your sister in a bikini but only the one time. OKAY? No need to warn about the TMI.

Ahem.

Crissy feels better having gotten that off her enormous and luscious chestal area.

And now it’s time for Crissy to come clean Queefies. It wasn’t really Crissy’s friend who had to take the Plan B pill. It was Crissy. Crissy was just pulling your legs you dumb bunnies.

You were totally fooled, weren’t you.

And Plan B was necessary because there was an Accident in the Bedroom and there was a catastrophic failure of pull and pray Plan A, as Crissy and Mister were totally shit faced and Mister forgot all about Plan A.

The other two times this has happened are called Girlfriend and Homeslice and so Crissy and Mister have learned that they are incredibly fertile together and that any slip-ups eventually wind up with names and college funds.

And so Plan B because Hhheeeeeeelllllll no.

And it wasn’t too bad and Crissy expected it to do violence to her and in her head she pictured something just like this happening to her:

So she was pleasantly surprised when really the worst thing that happened was she ate about 5 big handfuls of chocolate covered almonds and about humped the corner of her desk because for whatever reason Plan B made Crissy want to do more Sexy Time.

They must put something in the pills to make sure people come back for another dose really soon.

BUT!

Crissy shouldn’t have had to go through that in the first place and so guess what Queefies?

Crissy is having Mister neutered.

No more crotch fruit.

Only crotch peas.

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38 comments

  1. I started TMI Thursdays as something fun and silly that would bring other silly and fun bloggers together, which it has undeniably done. You’re absolutely entitled to your opinion, but I’m not sure it’s necessary to bash something which is creating connections among other bloggers, and is in no way hurting you. 🙁
    .-= LiLu’s last blog post… Stop Pitying Me, Trolls!!! =-.

  2. I love TMI Thursday, and not just because LiLu is my future wife/bff. It’s a way I find a lot of new blogs and I look forward to having over the top posts in one place every thursday. Your blog is TMI everyday (almost), but not everyone’s is. Don’t hate.

    p.s. that picture has officially scarred me for life.
    .-= Maxie’s last blog post… Would You Rather Wednesday =-.

  3. Pull and pray Plan A sounds like a great slogan for sex ed.

    And also, don’t believe the tale about not getting pregnant while breastfeeding. I found out last night a lady I work with was breastfeeding son #1 and had an accident with her husband, but thought no big deal. Accident became son #2 – only like 12-14 months younger than son #1. She loves accident, but wouldn’t have planned them so close.

  4. lilu:

    i think crissy has stopped pitying you. 😉

    if it wasn’t for tmi, nobody would read blogs [1].

    just like nobody would watch nascar without the crashes, or the miss america pageant without moronic responses to questions looming on the horizon, etc.

    “just the right amount of information” is boring.

    worse still, “not enough information” is useless.

    blogs [1] live and breathe on tmi. to claim otherwise is denying the fundamental human need to satiate curiosity and our unfailing ability to a) find solace in numbers, or b) convince ourselves of some kind of superiority over others.

    ken

    [1] NON-TECHNICAL blogs, of course. there are plenty of objective, factual, scientific-methody kinds of blogs out there that do just fine supplying “just the right amount” of information. (fuck those blogs, btw.)

  5. So just let me get this straight…no one seems to be offended at all by the plan b discussion or talking about Mister’s testicles but you’ve managed to piss people off discussing…a blogging theme/trend/whatevs?
    Only you, Crissy.
    Only.
    You.
    And I love it.
    .-= Cal’s last blog post… You smell good. =-.

  6. ahahahahahah! but, wait, what do peas have to do with testicles?
    I’m totally afraid to get shitfaced while breastfeeding… I had ONE glass of one the other night and started sweating buckets because it went straight to my head and then worried the baby was drunk
    .-= Natballs’s last blog post… Like Father Like Son =-.

  7. Okay hold the phone. I’m not attacking Lilu personally and her TMI Thursday thing is whatever. I’m just saying I don’t get it because it’s ALL TMI! Stop the kerfuffle.

  8. Seriously, folks… Crissy is not hatin’ on TMI Thursday… I think Crissy is sayin’ that EVERY day is TMI day in the Blogosphere.

    Anywhoozle…my key question is “So, is the pic of the crotch with the peas evidence that Mister is practicing for his post-neutering?” or… is that not Mister’s junk with the peas on it? I’m concerned that maybe Mister will come to like a chilly willy… but then, I do not possess the apparatus, so what do I know?

    Actually, once the initial twinges are gone, I am sure that Mister will have Phase 2 completed in no time. Because I recall that post-neutering you gotta rub a few out to get rid of any residual swimmers in the plumbing. Since there is still fertility potential, most of the time this is a solo activity. Something tells me Mister will have that taken care of in no time flat.

    Glad the Plan B didn’t cause any really horrible side-effects. I know a couple people who it knocked on their asses for a few days (better knocked on your ass than knocked up, tho…)
    .-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… A walk down the aisle of regret… =-.

  9. In answer to Natballs, the peas are because they conform easier to the unique contours of the coin pouch. Although, from personal experience, I’ve found that corn works well, as do certain varieties of beans. Just stay away from the french fries.

    Best of luck to Mister, it’s really not all that horrible a procedure.
    .-= Mr. POSSLQ’s last blog post… Typing quickly before the Benadryl kicks in =-.

  10. just know…once the snip happens–there is now NO REASON to ever NOT have sex. Huh. Maybe that was Ken’s plan all along….

  11. Crissy makes my heart hurt today. Because I think she’s super funny and I thought maybe I loved her, but then she was mean to LiLu. So now I’m wondering if Crissy is a meanie. Of course blogs are all TMI, but TMI Thursday is for the best of the best- the TMI-est TMI posts ever, and I heart it, and cannot even remotely like anyone who doesn’t get it and is mean to LiLu because I love her desperately.

    Isn’t that crotch shot from DadGoneMad’s sniparoo? I’d know those pale hairy thighs anywhere…
    .-= verybadcat’s last blog post… A Reformed Yankee’s Guide to Dixie =-.

  12. nice.

    i tried to embed it, but couldn’t, so here it is for DL:

    Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

  13. a) nuns on the run!

    b) stick it up the “other” hole next time!

    c) every day is TMI!

    (Side note: I dont think crissy was being mean to Lilu! Don’t take offense! Its only a blog! 🙂

  14. Yeah, I wish I could say that I had whacked off to that picture only that one time.

    I might get some of that Plan B stuff! Also, now I want to be neutered, too. Can you get Mister and me a package deal. And by “package deal,” I mean “blank-shooting threesome.”

    It’s a case study in irony that people take others’ efforts at fun and silly so seriously and personally in the name of defending fun and silly and creating connections amongst fun and silly bloggers, but whatev. We all love TMI. Oh, maybe it’s the information imperative to our very day-to-day survival rather than TMI that brings readers to blogs in the first place, and maybe your standard fun and silly blog doesn’t adequately bring fun and silly bloggers together. But at the end of the day, it’s being able to laugh at ourselves and shrug off our egos that matters. For that, long live TMI and long live memes that celebrate TMI.
    .-= stoogepie’s last blog post… Mister Shorts Number 9 =-.

  15. Wow, I love a debate 🙂

    I just have to throw in my two cents. Without TMI, how could a stalker (I mean fan) ever learn anything about their stalkee (I mean idol)? I love TMI no matter what day. It brings us all a little closer in this big big world.

    And I also have to say I love Aznman and Stoogie and am glad to see them commenting more again. They make me laugh so much.

  16. I’m not in high school. I’m in COLLEGE. 😉 And I wasn’t cool enough to LOOK at pom poms, much less use any. It’s okay, though, cause some of those girls are fat cows now, and I’m hot. Or so they tell me. I think Crissy should make this post a TMI to prove she’s not a hater. 😉
    .-= verybadcat’s last blog post… TMI Thursday: Don’t Stand So Close To Me =-.

  17. Hey, Daisee579, I didn’t mean to rattle any sabers (well, I mean of the non-blank-shooting kind), so no debate needed. I love TMI as much as you do. I think we should even coin the term WTMFI for “Way Too Much Fucking Information.” Let it be known that, on August 20, 2009, Crissy’s blog begat the term WTMFI and is also sometimes a carrier of WTMFI.

    Still hoping for the blank-shooting threesome. Pimp and I will keep our sabers crossed.

    I want pictures of the placenta. Pimp, did you wind up making it into a delicious pasta sauce?
    .-= stoogepie’s last blog post… Mister Shorts Number 9 =-.

  18. Oh Stoogie, I was not insinuating you were rattling sabres. I just wanted to join in the fun. And I was serious. I do love you and aznman and your comments. They make me warm and fuzzy on the inside. 😉

    And I may or may not want to watch video of you and Pimp crossing blank shooting sabres. Or non blank shooting. Whatever. Just show us video.

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