The Queen is chemically dependent and doesn’t even care

Crissy was telling you about her weekend and then POOF!

David interrupted her before she could show the Queefies a picture of her new hair!

Behold!  The beauty and the glory of the Queen’s highlights!

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And it had been since EASTER since she got her hair did and her Shannon had a tear in her eye and said she thought Crissy had left her and her exact words were more like “bitch, where the fuck you been?” and you can see why Crissy and Shannon get along like vodka and cranberry and Crissy promised she would never leave her and then she kissed her long and deep and touched her boobs and her fanny a little bit and that made her feel much better and then they moved on and Shannon created Crissy’s hair because Crissy sometimes forgets things these days like her phone number and that she’s driving and she just recently had a bonding moment with her Papa over such things that happen to the brain addled except he’s 93 and Crissy is only 30 hummhummmnana and so it must be the sleep deprivation that’s making her a retard and so far be it for Crissy to know what to do with her hair!

Because shit, you guys.

Crissy goes around channeling Amy Winehouse (is that how she spells her name?  Crissy is too lazy to go and check) some days and it’s just not pretty or cute so thank goodness for The Shannon and you know what Crissy really wants you guys?

Extensions.

Ooooooooooo…

Shannon does them and  Crissy has always wanted Mermaid Hair but it would cost $1,000 for Shannon to do the Mermaid Hair on Crissy and that’s her “I’m giving you a huge break because I’ve been doing your hair for eleventy million years” price and so Crissy is just going to have to put that Mermaid Hair on her Dream On Crissy list with the BMW and the Maidlaundressnannywhore.

Somebody should photoshop Daryl out of Crissy’s hair so the Queefs can see how pretty she’d look.  You know, if it’s even possible for Crissy to be any prettier.

Also, Crissy’s new favorite words are bum and fanny.

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21 comments

  1. That Dream On Crissy list is getting awfully long. I suggest we hold an online auction or something. We could do one of those charity auctions where we auction off men and women for the night or something. I like this idea because stoogepie’s People I Would Buy For A Night list is as long as Crissy’s Dream On Crissy list.

    Bum and fanny are awesome words.
    .-= stoogepie’s last blog post… Stoogepiety: The Stoogepie Story =-.

  2. hey, that’s funny…

    a maidlaundressnannywhore is ALSO on MY list!

    (her bum IS awesome, shelly! and better yet, that’s one of the only places i’m still allowed to touch at will…)

  3. All I can say is that if I were the BUM at the city clerks office last week I would have squeezed your FANNY 🙂 Great Hair BTW! Does anybody else see the “come here little boy and let’s play look” in the Queen’s picture or is it just me . . . Again?

  4. Very nice hair indeed. I have offered up my head of hair for the good of The Animals and will, if the fundraiser gets approved, soon sport purple highlights.

    I think I might need some vodka and cranberry in order to actually go through with it.
    .-= CuppyCakes’s last blog post… That Was Surprising. =-.

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