Happy Monday Queefies!!
Crissy’s weekend was soooo bizzy, bizzy, bizzy and fun she hardly knows where to start!
First, Crissy went to a place called Spring Lake and it was $3.00 to get into the most charming little beach evah!
Whilst there, Crissy consumed an ice cream novelty.
It was delicious.
And there they have this cute little arcade full of antique games that still work sort of. Crissy liked this one because it reminded her of her house:
And it does so because evidence is mounting that Crissy’s house has ghosties in it. The other day, Mister and Crissy pulled up in the driveway and got out of the car and heard the most supernatural sound. It was sort of like a gurgle and a shriek all at once only it was not Alice or Big Pussy and Crissy would say it was a death rattle coming from Guilt Fish but everyone knows Guilt Fish don’t do death rattles so it wasn’t him.
Girlfriend heard it too and is convinced it came from a monster in the basement but Crissy thinks that’s silly because clearly it’s the ghost of David.
David, dear Queefies, is the guy who used to live in the Crissy’s house who died in the house after a long battle with The Cancer about five years ago this August, and a couple of weeks ago a visiting nurse showed up at the door looking to take care of him.
And then yesterday Mister went to pick up his brand new Versace sunglasses that took forever to come in because they are so special and what was on the counter but the nose piece and a tiny screw just sitting there very neatly as if they had been removed by someone or something or DAVID.
New stuff like that doesn’t just fall apart. You have to take it apart.
And last night while Crissy was up with Homeslice, she heard someone on the stairs which is an unmistakable sound and it wasn’t Crissy’s imagination because Alice heard it too and even got off the bed to go and investigate and Big Pussy was on Crissy’s pillow so it wasn’t him and it wasn’t Guilt Fish coming back from the dead to haunt Crissy because everyone knows Guilt Fish don’t just climb out of toilets and walk up the stairs so it wasn’t him either.
It was DAVID.
And somebody keeps making Crissy’s bathroom scale read all sorts of funny numbers that Crissy does not recognize and so that must be David too.
The more Crissy thinks about it, the more Crissy thinks David is responsible for all sorts of things that are all shaquaed around the house and Girlfriend swears it’s not her who leaves Barbies and little hair accessories all over the place and Crissy is starting to believe her because you never know Queefies. Maybe David liked playing Barbie dress ups.
Mister keeps telling Crissy to stop talking about David because he thinks she’ll summon him or some such nonsense and Crissy tells him he’s clearly insane because DAVID IS ALREADY HERE!
And this is very exciting to Crissy because it means that if it keeps up she’ll be able to call Ghost Hunters and they’ll come with their funny beeping machines and their Rhode Island accents and check Crissy’s shit out for her and tell her if it’s David or if it’s just her oil burnah or her gahbage disposal making all the fuss.
Crissy will keep you posted and you Queefs should probably start watching Ghost Hunters because it’s an awesome show and it will totally give you the heebie jeebies and do you think that David and Crissy’s Grandmother Helen watch Crissy and Mister make Sexy Time?
Crissy swears she can hear people giggling in the corner…