So the other day, Crissy’s Rachel called her to remind her of a Wonderful Product and you know how Crisy loves Wonderful Products and since today is Rachel’s birthday, Crissy thought it would be a good day to write about it and to dedicate this post to her. She will be thrilled.
It is this Queefies:
It’s the Diva Cup and it does this:
It catches The Bloods and then you dump it out into the toilet instead of using a tampon and filling up the landfill. OR! If you are truly serious about the whole Reduce, Reuse, Recycle thingy and you are a particularly creative dirty hippie, it can become an all natural hair color. OR! You can use it to tie die your organic hemp tee shirts! OR! You can use it as a special secret ingredient in your World Famous Meat Sauce or your Extra Chunky Salsa recipe!
It’s totally awesome!
And Crissy doesn’t know about you Queefs, but The Diva Cup is just what our planet has needed all these years because apparently the landfills are really so full of tampons that we need to be just collecting our Bloods in a cup to make more room for all our disposable Swiffers , toilet wand refills, plastic water bottles and other convenience products. And if there is ever a day when Crissy needs to use The Diva Cup to save money instead of buying all those expensive tampons, it will be there for her. Thank goodness! It will save her tens of dollars a year! And if Crissy is wearing her Diva Cup and it spills, well it’ll just be one of those humiliating, character building experiences and we all know that Crissy needs to build her character because wearing a dress covered in baby shit isn’t enough so thank goodness for the Diva Cup!
But you know what Queefies?
At present Crissy is not diva enough for The Diva Cup but if she changes her mind she’ll let you know.
Happy Birthday Rachel!