Merry Christmas! Shitter was full.

Anyone who gets that reference wins absolutely nothing.

So you guys remember these people, right?

And there’s a general rule at Crissy’s house that if it’s loud or it smells bad, it’s probably coming from our own little slice of West Virginia.  They’re always shouting, they’re always burning something, they power wash dirtbikes at 8pm every night, and they’re always fixing some old engine that backfires and scares the bejeezus out of Crissy and they’re clearly pretty annoying but the Crissy’s have come to embrace it as free entertainment because they’re not going anywhere even though they were almost foreclosed on a few months ago and Crissy cried bitter tears of sadness was glad for it because no one deserves to lose their home.  They’re nice people, really.  They bring gifts for Girlfriend and Homeslice which is so sweet of them and they’re always very kind and jovial when Crissy talks to them mostly because they’re always drunk but that’s sort of enviable if you ask Crissy.

It’s just that they should live in a barn instead of next door to Crissy.

But like she just said, she’s going to embrace it because of stuff like she saw the other day.  The woman who lives there, we’ll start calling her Maudette, was standing on the roof of her RV (don’t get Crissy started on how nice she thinks it looks in the driveway) with a beer in one hand and a ciggie hanging out of her mouth and Crissy had one hand stirring her pot of dinner and the other on the video camera because seriously?  That’s a  recipe for hilarity if Crissy ever saw one but sadly, she did not fall or do anything funnier than stumble around up there and Crissy never figured out what she was trying to do but it was still nice because Crissy got to laugh and enjoy the show whilst cooking and that is worth the pain in the ass of living next to Maudette, her husband Earl, and all their construction workerish friends.

And so now Crissy is thrilled to death because guess what you guys?

They got a trampoline.

This is gonna be soooo good.  As soon as the rain stops, Crissy is sure Maudette will get her Bud on and get out there to do some jumpin’ and when she does, Crissy will be ready.

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23 comments

  1. That’s it, I’m moving in next door to the Crissy’s. I’m missing out on way too much. All my neighbors do is slam the door loudly after they walk in or out. Or get it on and make really nasty old man noises (only because the dude is an old man and I’m not sure if he’s pleasuring himself or someone else).
    .-= Marie’s last blog post… De-nied! =-.

  2. Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. Him’s nervous.
    Clark: Nervous or excited?
    Ruby Sue: Shittin’ bricks.
    Clark: You shouldn’t use that word.
    Ruby Sue: Sorry. Shittin’ rocks

  3. Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
    Eddie: Naw, I’m doing just fine, Clark.

  4. Ellen: Oh Aunt Bethany, you shouldn’t have done that.
    Aunt Bethany: Oh dear, did I break wind?
    Uncle Lewis: Jesus, did the room clear out, Bethany? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn’t have brought presents.

  5. Clark: So, when did you get the tenament on wheels?
    Eddie: Oh, that uh, that there’s an RV. Yeah, yeah, I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV. It’s a good looking vehicle, ain’t it?
    Clark: Yeah, it looks so nice parked in the driveway.

  6. Ellen: What are you looking at?
    Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn… the clean, cool chill of the holiday air… and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer…
    Eddie: Shitter was full!
    Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?
    Ellen: Clark, please. He doesn’t know any better.
    Clark: He oughta know it’s illegal. That’s a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it.

  7. We have an interesting specimen on one side of us and I THINK Mr. Rich DoctorMan on the other side. The interesting specimen often has her “men friends” knocking on our door asking if we’ve seen her. I’m guessing she’s hiding from the cavalcade o’ scary dudes…

    Lookin’ forward to the tramp vid!
    .-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… Please define "viable solution"… =-.

  8. oh man. those quotes had me giggling so hard I almost toppled out of my snuggie. Thanks pimp.

    I’ve learned to embrace my crack dealer neighbours too. It really is the best form of entertainment. When he gets so mad his yell switches into a decible only dogs can hear. It’s priceless.
    .-= CuppyCakes’s last blog post… Ten Things. =-.

  9. The crackdealer neighbours are all well and good until the police surround the place and trample your pansies. Or trampoline, by the look of the beds. Hope you tramping neighbour doesn’t bounce too far.

  10. I’m with maxie…seriously…why not Kentucky? Why not Mississippi? WV gets a bad rap…

    My neighbors are all nice and non-descript except for the couple that yells at each other once a week for an hour or so straight… that’s not entertaining though because you can’t see them…just hear them.

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