So there Crissy was, minding her own business and doing a little shopping at Kohl’s with Homeslice whilst Girlfriend was at summer camp for the morning, when Homeslice started working herself into a fuss. She was hungry and Crissy thought that was very, very rude indeed because it was not on the pre-approved, negotiated feeding schedule.
WTF Homeslice?
Anyrudebaby, to shut Homeslice up, Crissy decided to feed her in the dressing room at Kohl’s instead of leaving and going out to the car because it is rather frowned upon to feed a baby in public around here and so Crissy walked through the store just grabbing stuff as she went so it would look like she was really going to try stuff on and not whip out her tits in there because heaven forbid someone expose a tit even in a dressing room. And while Crissy was in there some other ladies came in and it was very, very, very quiet except of course for the occasional zipper sound and Homeslice’s super loud SLURP! SLURP! SLURPING which probably sounded weird and Crissy tried to make her more quiet but that’s totally impossible as it turns out and the ladies must have been wondering what the hell was going on in that handicapped dressing room when it happened.
RRRRRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!
Homeslice filled her diaper in a rather dramatic and thunderous fashion and it echoed through the dressing room. Zippers stopped mid-zip, try on projects were aborted and people left the dressing room.
Crissy is not even kidding you.
And poor Crissy was standing there with Homeslice looking very proud of herself with milk dripping off her chin and a nice full diaper.
Crissy did not know what to do.
Should she change the diaper in the dressing room? Should she go to the ladies room? Should she just pay for her stuff and get the hell out of the store?
Yes.
Get out of the store because sometimes the smart thing to do is just run away.
And so Crissy and Homeslice ran away but not before paying for the adorable outfit with the bunnies on it.
That was for Homeslice.
Crissy likes things with kitties on it for herself.
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Ah the good ole days. Although, my kids still managing to do super embarrassing stuff at 6 and 10.
It never changes, Crissy….never. My youngest, who turned 16, calls me OFTEN from the bathroom. Somehow, as his mother, I’m permanently attached to his bowel function.
.-= shelly’s last blog post… Horny Toad =-.
Are you telling me this is what I have to look forward to?? Remind me again why we decided to have children? Is it too late to change my mind??
Ahahaha…I literally just laughed out loud imagining all the drama going down in one of those bland, grey Kohls dressing rooms. At least Homeslice kept what could have been a very boring shopping trip interesting!
.-= Cal’s last blog post… Grocery doubles =-.
Babies embarrass parents so that once the parents start embarrass them in their teens, they’ll have at least earned it.
Thank you Crissy, you reminded me of an incident I can post for TMI Thursday! (And I may or may not have had to shut the door to my office so my cow-irkers couldn’t hear me laughing).
Trips to the restroom where I work have convinced me that most ladies don’t poo. Ever. Because if there is so much as a *poot*, they will flee from the restroom like their asses are on fire.
.-= MsDarkstar’s last blog post… Drama Llama GO HOME! =-.
All I can say is high five to Homeslice!
.-= Marie’s last blog post… Say it, Mean it =-.
Homeslice wanted to eat in peace ‘n quiet and cleared the room the only way she knew how. Rock on, baby!
.-= Akilah Sakai’s last blog post… I’m Pregnant! =-.
Okay, here’s a secret. When Archie would do that as I was nursing, I found it extremely satisfying. As if I was the one doing that and not stuck, sweating in whatever chair I was in with my boob hanging out.
Also, you do live in Schmuckytown if breastfeeding in public is frowned up. Though, Portland is no better. I’m pretty sure women who aren’t breastfeeding do it just to seem in with the in crowd.
.-= Melissa Lion’s last blog post… Finished. =-.
Gasp!
Shocking!
(drops monocle, loosens ascot…)
Homeslice is my hero.
.-= Zan’s last blog post… TMI Thursday: Why I’m Stickin’ With Charmin =-.
ha! i can totally picture this whole scene in kohls. also can picture those cute outfits- kohls is a good gem for cute finds like that.
Kittens are so 2007. Bunny up, Chica.
.-= LA Cochran’s last blog post… Sex and death, but not in that order =-.
Ha ha ha, Homeslice already has a great sense of humor!
.-= chickenlips’s last blog post… be CAREFUL =-.
Go for it, Homeslice!
I have no patience for the silly crap of disapproval for public nursing. I think it’s awful. There was a big brouhaha here about that quite a few years ago, and I ignored it all, because that’s the way I am.
I think Homeslice was just letting everyone know who’s boss, and who’s being idiotic, because after all, she’s just trying to eat…and shit…
.-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel’s last blog post… How Much Tongue Can Fit In One Mouth? =-.
Public breastfeeding frowned on? Schmucktown must really suck. I’m tempted to have a baby (not really) just so I can pull out my jugs in public. Where I live, nobody would say a word. They might frown on exposed, non-milk engorged tits, though so the prop baby is essential.
Is it bad that I relate to Homeslice in this post?
.-= k8′s last blog post… Grandfather =-.
AHAHAHA I literally laughed out loud!
I’d have aborted the shopping mission, too.
.-= CuppyCakes’s last blog post… God, She Can Ramble. =-.
don’t lie. it was YOU who crapped your pants.