Quite Possibly the LAMEST Post Ever Written.

Oh wow Queefies!

The sun is out this morning!

Normally this would not be noteworthy but here in New England all the Queefs have been waking up to cold and cloudy skies for about six weeks straight.  It’s been the coldest and rainiest summer on record.

But Crissy hopes it’s all done because the sun has been out for like, two days now and Crissy is feeling a lot less like  running down pedestrians with her car just to cheer herself up.

And you know what she noticed as she came downstairs in the sunlight to write about something totally different this morning?

Crissy noticed that she has a lot of stuff.

Way, way, way too much stuff.

There’s stuff over here and stuff over there and holy shit the stuff is winning.  It’s forming an army right now and it’s getting ready to take Crissy’s house away from her and so the Queen must take action.  The stuff thinks Crissy cannot hear it whispering and planning a takeover when she’s walking by but she can hear it just fine you guys and she’s not gonna let her stuff makes her its bitch.

And so Crissy is saying it in front of all the Queefs so that she has witnesses and she’s going to learn how to sell stuff on Ebay and put stuff on Craigslist and she’s going to throw some stuff out and she’s going to stay the fuck away from the dollar bins at Target and she’s only going to drop stuff off at Saver’s and not buy anything no matter how cool or retro or how much it makes her think of her grandma and  she’s going to have a gigantic yard sale where The Poor and the Dirty Foreign People will come by the carload and try to haggle with her over things that cost 25 cents and she will shout at them to get off her lawn and perhaps hit them a little bit on the face and  jesus christ will somebody shut that baby up?  It’s really hard to be the QOFE when there’s a baby crying upstairs and nobody seems to be doing anything about it, MISTER.

AnyhousefullofshitCrissyneedstogetridofandwillsomebodypleasemakethebabystopcrying, this is quite possibly the lamest post ever written and so Crissy is pretty proud of that and so now she’s  going to take a small bow and then go and put a sock in that crying baby or maybe a boob or whatever but something must be done and will somebody tell Crissy why her neighbor’s son thinks it’s necessary to blast techno out of his car at 8 in the morning?

So yes.

Happy Monday.

Is today Monday?

Crissy doesn’t even know.

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  1. Congrats on the rain stopping and the sun shining. I hope it lasts. We, however, got your rain and thunderstorms. Nothing like starting the work week by being startled half to death by two terrified dogs barking at the top of their lungs and one whining dog trying to get away from the barking. Of course we have hardwood floors, too, or else we wouldn’t get that lovely echo effect.

    Will you come sell my stuff when you’re done with yours? I have to make some room in this house before January.

  2. Fight the battle!! I won the war over the clutter a few months back. Had no idea what a pack-rat I had become. Life is so much better now! Honestly! Starts the day of so much brighter when you the house is if not clean, at least not full of crap.

    As for the rain congrats! Here in Fl, it’s sunny for part of everyday, but the the thunderstorms come. As a result my livestock have started building their own ark.

  3. I think you should continue packing stuff in your house and then make a call to Clean House. And you can star on that show. And let the world see your stuff. (Because isn’t that your goal in life – to share Crissy’s stuff on TV?!) And let them worry about cleaning and selling your stuff. And then they give your house a do-over anyway. And you wind up with more stuff. But, nice, pretty, new stuff. And everything is magically hunky-dory. And then all you need to worry about is being the QOFE instead of Ms. Un-clutter-bug.
    .-= SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post… Out =-.

  4. I noticed the STUFF taking over this morning, too. I quick shut the door to Tiny Apartment and walked out the door. I have no time for such shenanigans. I’m hoping to manipulate Gay Boyfriend into cleaning it for me. He’s got to be good for SOMETHING.
    .-= k8’s last blog post… The Joy of a Busy Weekend =-.

  5. The QOFE does not DO lame, I don’t think.

    I have too much stuff too. And I have to HALF it by next Feburary or Boy will not have anywhere to put His Stuff when he gets here. I’m guessing BoyStuff takes up a lot of room and is in no way as pretty as GirStuff.
    .-= CuppyCakes’s last blog post… God, She Can Ramble. =-.

  6. Yay for your sunshine! I’ve had a shitty Monday. Seriously. I cleaned up shit, locked myself out of the house for an hour, then stepped in shit I didn’t see earlier. All before 9 am. And all I have to look forward to today is chores, lots and lots of chores. I hate this Monday.
    .-= chickenlips’s last blog post… my day so far =-.

  7. There’s no such thing as a lame post, if you ask me. Which you didn’t.

    This Monday has sucked Donkey Balls so far, and I also don’t like it. I don’t have specific reasons, as you do, I just think it sucks.

    .-= shelly’s last blog post… Who says pork fat rules? =-.

  8. I’m going to say “Fuck Mondays” for your sake and for the sake of those who work normal jobs, but I’m off work on Mondays and therefore actually look forward to them.

    Anymyscheduleseriouslyfuckswithmysexlife, please hurry and put some things on eBay cuz I need more stuff…and I have all this money laying around just so I can buy stuff that other people don’t want anymore…

    ,,,okay, not really, but still.
    .-= Zan’s last blog post… TMI Thursday: That Which Is Lost…Will Be Found Again… =-.

  9. Pretty sure baby trumps blog. I wouldn’t apologize or start admitting lameness just yet.

    We’ve been rocking the shitasstastic weather up here for the past month too. That’s why I ran away to California – to tell the East Coast to suck it.

    Sort of.
    .-= Ben’s last blog post… Hi there. =-.

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