When your birthday falls on a Friday you can declare it your Birthday Weekend and nobody can say shit to you until Monday.
It’s true, Queefs.
You can start saying shit to Crissy now.
It is no longer her birthday.
Crissy and Mister and Michele and Richard went out on Friday night to this establishment with cloth napkins and NO KID’S MENU. It was also Michele and Rich’s wedding anniversary but whatever because this post is about Crissy’s birthday and not those guys and she just wishes they’d stop making her birthday all about them but clearly Crissy’s birthday is a day when magical things happen like people getting married and queens being born and stuff.
And Crissy had the Salmon Oscar which was very nice and the other people all had something too but Crissy doesn’t remember what because LOOK!
Crissy hasn’t had one of those bad boys in like, well, forever and so it was pretty glorious. There was also wine involved if you must know and Crissy was a little bit nervous about all the alcohols but it turns out that she was not Party Asshole. In fact, nobody was Party Asshole and that makes Crissy a little bit sad because that leaves her with very little to report to the Queefs who she knows have been waiting all weekend to find out about how the royal festivities went and so Crissy will just show the Queefs a picture of The Royal Bosom instead and hope that is exciting enough:
Crissy does not know why Mister chose to make the picture black and white because it looks stupid like that do you hear Crissy Mister? but she told you Queefs that her birthday dress would show off her boobies in a very spectacular way and it totally did.
Everyone was commenting and by everyone Crissy means everyone.
Even Crissy’s mother-in-law wanted to fluff them and maybe even do a little motorboating.
And then on Saturday Crissy’s mom made her a lovely breakfast and a nice cake:
And it was so delicious that Crissy ate half of it that very day and then some for breakfast yesterday and some more for lunch.
Crissy does not know why her baby weight isn’t just falling off of her.